Setting Goals

Every few months, I go through a process with my school aged children of examining goals we've set in the past and setting new goals for the next few months. Yesterday's school work was to go through this process with Asher and Evie again and with Isaac for the first time. It was so much fun for the kids to talk about how they achieved their goals this semester and what they want to do next semester. This also helps me plan for the semester in a real way, rather than just the hypothetical stuff that I'd like to do. I think child led learning is possibly the most effective way of teaching my kids. They LOVE choosing what topics we will discuss and it means so much more to them when we have finally accomplished our goals. To do this project, they had to come up with *at least* 5 goals for 2010 - 2 academic, 2 extracurricular and one social. They had to make a poster to hang in the house of all they want to accomplish this year. In 6 months, we will review their goals, see what they've accomplished and what they have a way to go on yet.

Here is what they came up with:

Asher

1. Complete Life of Fred Beginning Algebra and Begin Advanced Algebra.
2. Complete a Meteorology Unit in Science.
3. Make some new friends.
4. Learn how to cook.
5. Achieve Senior Brown Belt in Tae Kwon Do.

Evie

1. Study how bugs live.
2. Earn a Senior Blue Belt in Tae Kwon Do.
3. Study the Stars.
4. Take and Art Class.
5. Make some new friends.
6. Make Sculptures.

Isaac

1. Complete Kindergarten.
2. Learn to Read.
3. Take Tae Kwon Do classes.
4. Do some arts and crafts.
5. Make more friends.

In setting goals for the kids, I found myself wondering what my goals for 2010 would be if I made a colorful poster to hang on my wall. What do I want to learn, do and accomplish socially, academically and with my hobbies? What are my goals? What is my motivation? These aren't 'new year's resolutions' - I always set my expectations way too high for those - like 'I want to lose 50 pounds' or 'I want to stop eating chocolate' - these things, while not impossible, are highly improbable with my current state of mind! So, these are my goals for 2010:

1. Academic: Learn to enjoy homeschooling again - I am taking steps to learn Asher's math myself so that I can better understand the material and will be able to help him without confusing him further. I am also looking at ways to improve my kids desire to write and produce 'projects' independent of me.
2. Academic: Attend a homeschooling conference and learn some new styles and about high school transcripts.
3. Extracurricular: Continue running - even if it is not every single day - I want to continue enjoying my short jaunts out into my neighborhood. I want to continue taking baby steps towards a healthier lifestyle in my behavior and eating habits.
4. Extracurricular/Social: Find time to craft. I need to make an effort to set up a monthly scrapping day with my friends who love it as much as I do. I also want to take time to scan in all my mother's old photographs, so that if they are ever lost physically, then there will be digital copies.
5. Social: Build my relationships with my husband, mother, step father, my sisters and my brother. My brother and my sisters have always been precious to me, but life gets very busy and I tend to take their presence for granted. If this year of losses and turmoil has taught me anything, it is to treasure every moment we have together and to simply love the wonderful people I have in my life.
6. Social: Community Service - I'd like to expand my family's horizons and start a board game day for seniors in the local area. I'm going to contact my town's library and the local senior centers in both the county I'm in and the county my mother is in to see if there would be any interest in getting this started. I'd love for this to become cross-generational, but we'll see what happens.
7. Social: Simplify - I want to try to simplify my relationships this year. I want to try to realize that some people are not able to give support when it is needed simply because that is who they are. I want to eliminate the negativity that comes into my heart via others' attitudes and I want to be a light to those who need it. I want to be thankful to everyone who is able to give me a little light when I need it and to try my best to some how reciprocate what they've given to me.

Whether or not I'll accomplish all of these goals is not really an issue. I just want so badly to start enjoying life again and I feel like I need to have a direction to go to do so. I want realistic goals that are achievable and simple. I think that these 7 things are achievable. I also want to establish 6 tenets by which I will live my life... Because 7X6=42 and 42 is the answer to life the universe and everything... And everyone needs tenets to live by - my kids have their Tae Kwon Do Tenets which they repeat at the beginning of every class. (Courtesy, Integrity, Perseverance, Self Control, Indomitable Spirit) :D So here are my 6 tenets to go with my 7 goals. Which multiplied together makes 42... which just seems appropriate and perfect. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, then you need to go read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!

Steph's Tenets:

1. Kindness & Love
2. Patience & Understanding
3. Peace & Tranquilty
4. Non-Judgement & Open Mindedness
5. Enjoyment & Fulfillment
6. Benevolence & Charitability

IKEA and school planning.

IKEA and school planning - these two things have almost nothing in common (aside from the fact that I want to get some IKEA giant paper lanterns for the class/living room upstairs). I went to IKEA with the children today to just look around. I hadn't been there yet and it seemed like the thing to do, because everyone has raved about this place. I just don't know exactly why I wanted to go out on a rainy day like today at all. Sometimes, it is just best to stay home, but I didn't want to because I knew I had housework to do (that I just really didn't want to do). The kids were mostly good, but Isaac was grumpy and hated everything as usual. Going to IKEA did give me some ideas for storage around the house and I plan on going back very soon to take my time and look around for book shelves, some attractive storage for clothing and to have a meal because the cinnamon buns smelled really yummy. For some strange reason, it also got my brain flowing again for next semester's home school planning. Maybe it was all the pretty colors and containers. I like containers - baskets, tubs, jars, bins! Pretty much any kind of container!

I've been thinking about our history lessons a lot lately. We've been through all the Story of the World books and Asher is ready for something deeper. High School US History is what is in my head. I'm going to head to Growing Scholars this week to see what they've got. I'll be looking for a secular curriculum and something with as little expense as possible.

I'm also looking for a secular 9th grade Physical Science curriculum for Asher. I'd like to be able to finish most of 9th grade with him between now and the end of next year. I'd also like to increase his writing skills a great deal. We are going to start with outlining and summarizing within our US History Curriculum and a bit of creative writing and see how it goes. Asher's "Life of Fred Beginning Algebra" is GREAT! We both love the unique approach and the difference in his attitude is amazing.

Evie is going to go through North Carolina in a Nutshell and we will be taking a spring trip to Raleigh. I think visiting the state capitol is a trip every kid should take. I'll be looking for a self guided tour somewhere online to see if I can just go on my own. Her science is going to continue to be mostly unschooled - lots of reading and study based on her interest. She would only be in 2nd grade this year. So I'm feeling like a formal science curriculum would do us absolutely no good as she is learning so much right now on her own! I'm going to work on creative writing and summarizing with her as well. She's doing great in her Singapore 2A Math and is accomplishing quite a bit.

Isaac just turned 4 today. I'm going to start doing a little bit of formal phonics with him along with basic geometry, shapes and numbers. He's trying really hard to form his words correctly now and is interested in learning to read. Now to begin the process again of figuring out which program will work for this child to get him reading. After reading is attained, everything gets so much easier!

I'm still looking at how to accomplish all while dealing with a toddler, managing the house, getting the kids to all the activities (Taekwondo, Theatre, Park Day, play dates), feeding the masses, maintaining my happy marriage, and somehow finding some "me" time. I don't say all that to make people feel sorry for me or to say that I don't enjoy doing it all (most of the time). I say it simply to say, "Golly gee! I'm busy!" Add in the stress of the holidays right now and I feel like I have all four wheels spinning sometimes and I just don't get anywhere. But that is okay, because eventually, I will. And Spring Time will bring something wonderful - GARDENING and that always makes me feel better. I'm living for February.

Drive By Strip Malling

I was out driving about today in search of a consignment store selling a twin sized bed that would be to the liking of the almost four year old. I was over on the west side of Charlotte where I had seen a place selling used Little Tykes beds and toys a year or two ago over near Growing Scholars Homeschooling store. I decided to drive past one of my favorite buildings in the world... It was gone. They are building a strip mall in its spot. I've decided to remember this wonderful place and the people who filled its walls by telling some stories about it.

In the summer of 1986, my mother, my pregnant sister, and her husband came down to North Carolina with nothing but a Ryder Truck full of clothing and furniture and two cars. We had nothing - mom did not even have any prospects for a job, we had no place to go. We were basically starting over after what was basically the end of my parents' marriage. My other sister and her future husband joined us later. But on that HOT summer day in 1986, we pulled into the parking lot of what was then called Long Creek Baptist Church. It was during vacation Bible school and these really kind people at this church told us we could stay the night in their parking lot. They let us wash up the next day and fed us. By the end of that day, we had a place to live, my mother soon had a job and these wonderful church members helped my mother relentlessly over the next few years to get back on her feet. We attended this church for years after that. My mother and I both loved the people of this church and Brother Bud (Alvin "Bud" Spencer 1923-2008) who was its pastor at the time. They weren't perfect people, but they were loving and caring people.

One of my sisters had her baby shower there. One of my other sisters was married there in 1989 and Brother Bud performed her wedding ceremony. I was her maid of honor - that was when I was 11 years old. I was also baptized there as a child. I had so many good friends there as a child.

Mom and I stopped attending there for a long time, but it always held a special place in my heart and when I began driving, I started visiting there again. Now it was called Unity Baptist.

I was engaged to be married and wanted it to be there. The people there were great - some different faces... Some the same... The pastor now was Bill Nieporte. Bill is a great guy all around and so is his wife. His message of grace rang very true in my ear and still does. I really enjoyed attending this church as a young adult. Bill was kind enough to not be offended when I asked if Brother Bud could come back and officiate my wedding.

I remember on the night of our wedding rehearsal, Brother Bud just walked through the church and looked at every sign. He touched the plaque that commemorated the donation made by Emerson Burge in memory of his wife Becky (one of my mom's best friends) who had died of cancer. Emerson used to give me an 'allowance' on Sundays because he knew my mom couldn't afford it. He and Becky used to take mom and I to lunch every Sunday at McDonald's Cafeteria in West Charlotte. I remember one of the black waitresses trying to convince me when I was little that he was Emerson's daughter. They played it up so much that I almost believed them! Bud walked down the halls and talked to Josh and I about our upcoming marriage in a classroom that I had sat in years earlier for VBS and now was considering teaching in for children's Sunday school. He also stood in the sanctuary and stared at the stained glass behind the baptismal. I remembered when it had been installed soon after we became members of the church. I believe his wife and some of the other ladies had either paid for it or made it.

My husband and I became members of Unity shortly after the wedding. One year later, I was having a baby shower for my own impending arrival in the same fellowship hall where my sisters and I had celebrated babies and marriages in years past. After I had to go back to work a year after my son was born, Bill and Jeanna were there for me again to open up their home so I could have a sitter I could trust. And my first one was a handful at that age - so they were very gracious to have him in their home.

I was involved in the children's ministry, women's ministry and both were very special to me. We stopped attending and started attending a church closer to our house when Asher was almost 2 years old. But I still loved that church and the people there.

Since mom and I moved so much when I was growing up, I never developed a big attachment to a school or a house. But the church building on the corner of Mt. Holly-Huntersville Road and WT Harris (it used to be Vance Rd.) held a lot of very fond memories. I think the church still exists in some incarnation. But that beautiful church building is long gone and that is such a shame. All for a strip mall... Not a surprising fate, because it is such a growing area, but a big shame nonetheless.

I feel so sad that this building is gone. It's like I've just found out that an old friend that shared my life for so long is gone and I didn't get to say goodbye.

Furthering My Education

I have been asked, on several occasions, what my degree is in. When I tell people that I am a high school drop out, they are completely shocked. I nearly laugh at this every time because people assume that if you are a high school drop out, you are a stupid and inarticulate oaf. They assume that because I 'seem intelligent', I must have a higher level of education.

In 1995, I quit high school - twice - once at the end of my junior year and then again after re-enrolling at the beginning of my senior year. I was miserable in school and at the time, it was the right decision for me and I don't regret it - to this day (shh.., don't tell any current high school kids I said that). If my mother had had the opportunity and ability to home school me, I know she would have. School was not a fun place for me and any real education I received was in classes where I was able to control where I sat and who sat around me. My priorities were definitely not academics, my brain was on making money to pay my bills and still have enough left over to go dancing and have fun with my friends.

As soon as I turned 18, I scheduled a time to go take the pre-test for the GED at Central Piedmont Community College. The lady took one look at my scores and said, "Why on earth did you quit high school? These are the highest scores I have ever seen!" And she scheduled my GED test for the following week. I went and scored super high on the whole test. I could have passed the test with those scores when I was in 8th grade and had no clue why the lady was so impressed.

I went on to take the placement tests for community college and even took Band and an English Composition course. I had a job as a technical writer and felt I had reached some personal goals for a career. My priorities now were getting married, settling down and having children. I was ready for all of that and only briefly pondered going back to school to get a degree. I didn't see a need at the time.

Over the past 12 years of married life, I have pondered college several times. I've gone as far as looking at courses of study, checking into accredited online schools, and seeing what it would take to be able to go. Then I would want to have another baby and honestly, it has always been more important to me to raise my family than it has been to go back to school.

After 12 years of marriage, 11 years of motherhood, and 7 years of homeschooling - I wonder if it is time for me to take the plunge and go back to school for at least a little bit of further education. I don't know if it is the right time or if it makes the most sense right now, but I have a longing to get an 'academic education' instead of just the education that life has given me. Why? Why not? Hmm...

My oldest son is now taking Algebra 1 and is doing really well with it. The furthest I have been in math is high school Geometry. My math skills are really lacking and I fear that if I do not further my knowledge in math, I will not be able to teach him past next school year. If I am going to have to learn the material to teach him, why not receive college credit for it?

Someday, after my kids are a little more grown, I would love to start my own business - what my town needs is a little cafe' and coffee shop that serves really high quality coffee, smoothies, and Jones Soda (because who doesn't love Jones Soda) desserts, pastries, doughnuts, breads, salads, sandwiches and (on cold days) soups. Right now, we only have places that serve home style cooked food and while this is great, I think something that is not 'fast food' or 'greasy spoon' would be so wonderful (and popular). This is my dream, but I have no idea how to make my own business happen - I don't know where to start or how to do it. I wonder if a diploma or associate course of study would give me at least some of that knowledge.

I also wonder sometimes if my lack of a 'real' high school diploma or degree could hurt our future possible familial goals. Having a GED puts me in a 'lower class' in all reality. A lot of people do not respect it - even though the only thing I feel a high school diploma symbolizes is your ability to sit in a class room with people your own age who more often than not treat you like crap 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 13 years. The world values your ability to endure that kind of thing and definitely does not see it my way. No university in the world would have accepted me as an 18 year old GED recipient no matter what my test scores said - even though I was probably as smart if not smarter than over half the kids I knew in high school. I didn't have the proof that I was able to endure that special kind of torture that is traditional school. The world sees a diploma/degree as proof of "education" and if my family situation ever changes or I have to go back to work, my current skill set will not be seen as marketable or valuable. (Don't get me started on how the management skills you obtain as a homeschooling mom are seen as completely inferior and useless in the professional world.) The best job I'll be able to get will be a minimum wage job that would never be able to properly support my big family.

So, I'm pondering college again. I don't know if it is the right time. I would probably have to take online classes and sacrifice some of our other activities to make it happen. I don't know if my husband's work schedule would even allow it - considering he works 50-80 hour work weeks right now and I am pretty much with the kids most of the time because of this. I don't know if I would receive the support from those around me I would definitely need to be able to make it through a year or two of full time community college. I don't even know exactly what course of study I would want to take. I still have at least 16 years of educating my children ahead of me. Any degree I get now would not be used for at least a couple of years. Then, any business I started would be one flexible enough so I could still provide my children with their basic education. But wouldn't getting the degree and starting my own business be a good educational exercise for my children to witness?

Holiday Traditions

This time of year, I often begin to examine our lives and try to simplify things in time for the Holidays. We celebrate Christmas in our house, but whatever your family's holiday traditions, I think this time of year is hectic and busy. Seeing folks post on Facebook that it is only X days until Christmas and the dreaded comments that ensue is hilarious and sad. Everyone seems to dread a holiday that is supposed to be happy and joyful.

Some of the things I'm doing this year to simplify our lives (aka save money and be more joyful) at the holidays:

• Making gifts - my kids enjoy making things and one of Evie's 'goals' this year is to make Christmas decorations for the tree and to give as gifts. I've been making jams, fruit butters and jellies all year for myself. I've made sure to make plenty extra so I can give these things away as useful and meaningful gifts to those around us. We also have gigantic pecan trees in our yard and I'm going to collect these nuts as gifts for my extended family and our friends.
• Shopping online - I have four kids. My husband has a demanding job. My kids are with me pretty much 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This does not make for surprise shopping. So, most of my shopping - at least for my children is done online. I also made the kids make Amazon.com wish lists. I sat down with the older three and I asked them what they wanted. They made HUGE lists and were told they would not be getting everything on the list. Then after they went to bed, I went on their amazon lists, bought up to the dollar limit we had set for each of them and then passed the rest of the lists on to family who asks what to get them to try and make their Christmas shopping easier.
• Making gift wrapping fun - Schedule it, don't dread it. I've put it on my calendar - on Saturday, November 21, I am going to be wrapping Christmas gifts. By that day, I want to have everything bought - including the items for extended family so I can wrap, tie on the bows, put on the pretty gift tags and just try and enjoy the whole experience.
• Baking - I love nothing more than baking for people. I bake cookies, candies, breads. Anything I can enjoy and my family can enjoy.
• Scaling back on scheduled activities - My kids are in Taekwondo and Theatre classes. These are things my kids can't really miss all that often, but we are trying to at least scale back on Taekwondo until after Christmas. This means the kids won't be able to test for their next belt until February, but as long as we are going slowly enough, my kids can make new goals for Taekwondo after the beginning of the year when the holidays slow down a bit. Theatre is going to get very busy in December with performances and we have to be sure we spend time relaxing.

I'm going to enjoy Christmas - I refuse to get stressed out about the things that in the end, really matter very little in the larger scheme. I hope those around me can be just as relaxed.

Well, it is the crazy Mom's Life...

Warning: This post contains graphic, yet hilarious details of my poor puppy, Sirius' anatomy... Idiot dog.

Josh is on a plane somewhere over the atlantic. Have I ever mentioned
how much I miss him when he's not here??? :( He'll be in London the
rest of this week and will only arrive home after Asher and Isaac's
party on Saturday. It's going to be a cool party though, I hate that
he's missing it. I also have trouble sleeping when he's on a plane at
night. It absolutely kills me not to know where he is exactly. As
long as I have a spot where I can get to him, if I absolutely needed
to, I am good. London is far away, but it's not totally inaccessible
in a dire emergency.

Weird things always happen when he's traveling. Tonight Sirius Black
was humping Max on the couch. This is an hourly occurrence - Sirius
likes to hump everything. Max got up to move and Sirius fell between
the sections of my sectional couch. When he did, his already
protruding penis popped all the way out of its foreskin! All the way
down past his testicles! WOW! That was a freakish site. I called
mom, called the vet and was going to take the stupid puppy to the vet
and have her come over to watch the kids. By the time I got childcare
arranged (mom could barely walk because she'd taken some benedryl),
the drama was over. I put him in the kennel and I guess he barked
his foreskin back over his testicles and lost his erection and he
looked 'normal' again. Explaining what had happened to the emergency
vets office was so embarrassing... I swear, if my children aren't
embarrassing me some way, my animals are.

A came down crying about 10 minutes later over some story a kid at
drama had told tonight about this other kid at school smashing his
finger flat in a door. He was so upset and I had to make him laugh or
we were going to have 2 hours of him working through someone else's
trauma - this is his latest area of meltdowns - insecurities. So I
told him about the Penis Plight of Sirius Black... I've never seen
A laugh so hard in my life. He thought the dog's protruding penis
and testicles was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. And he thought
my reaction of rushing the poor dog to the vet was even funnier. He
said, "Mommy, all boys penises poke out like that! It's totally
normal!" Gee, my 10 year old son, thank you for the anatomy lesson in
the male of the species. I needed it... Like I've never seen a
penis before. But he's a DOG, not a BOY!!! - Honestly, this
was something I have never seen and NEVER hope to see EVER EVER
again! After my adrenaline level dropped, I was able to laugh. But
now I feel nauseous. I swear it was the freakiest thing I have ever
seen on a dog. The whole dang package was just dangling out there in
the wind and there was NOTHING I could do to fix it!!! And I tried -
EWWW GROSS! And it was like 4 inches long!!! It looked like a
little misshapen hot dog... The whole dog is only a foot long from
nose to rump - that's a third of his whole body! Thank God the human
male is not the same proportion as a dog. They'd look like a
friggin' elephant!

Well, I hope you all have enjoyed my wacky tale of canine torment.
Why does this kind of crap have to happen when I am at home alone with
my children???

Where the Wild Things Are - Movie Review

Tonight the older 3 kids and I went to see the new movie based on Maurice Sendak's classic book Where the Wild Things Are and here are some of my thoughts:

This is a movie completely told from the eyes of a child - if you go in with your adult mindset and are expecting to understand it - you won't. If you go in thinking like a child, you will love this movie. It's specific to children, I think, between the ages of 6 and 12. Children younger than 6 do not have the maturity to 'get' the deeper aspects of the movie, but will probably enjoy the Wild Things and watching a child similar to themselves try to exert control over his environment. This is the key point to the movie - Max does NOT have control over his environment. Like a lot of children, when he feels out of control, he exerts control over his mother by throwing a tantrum and becoming a 'wild thing'. He has all of these complex feelings and desires to be loved and paid attention, but the adults and other people (his mother, father, teacher and teen sister) seem to ignore him, worry him, and frustrate him. He's a selfish child and he knows it, and feels horrible and guilty when he gets out of control.

His escape into the world of the Wild Things gives him a good chance to explore both the positive and negative aspects of his personality. The biggest thing that surprised me when my children and I were discussing the movie afterward is that after I suggested this to my children, they were able to name the characters and describe what they felt each wild thing represented about Max's personality. Here's what they came up with:

Judith - she is a character that always seems worried that things won't work out or that there is danger in everything the 'family' of Wild Things decides to do. She's the natural pessimist that lies within every child. The one who says, "I don't like X." or "X is a bad idea." no matter what X is. She also represents pure worry and fear. Max seems to be constantly worrying about people leaving him, the sun exploding, people being hurt, etc. Judith seems to embody worry pretty well. She also displays Max's selfishness. There is a scene where she throws a little tantrum of her own and tells Max that he's supposed to do what she wants no matter what and if she says she wants to eat him up, then that is what she should let him do. It was an eye opening experience for Max.

Carol - this is the character that most represents Max's feelings from the beginning of the movie - Loneliness, disappointment, rage, anger, regret, sadness and abandonment. But he also represents Max's imagination (Evie pointed this out and I thought it fit really well.) because he likes to build and make things.

KW - Represents Adolescence - that place between childhood and adulthood. She represents everything that Max (and Carol) don't quite understand yet. She's a sweet character that just doesn't get why she should stick around for Carol and the others or why they all crave her attention so fiercely. She used to play with them all the time, and now she has moved on to new things and they don't understand why.

Ira - This one was a bit difficult - after quite a bit of discussion, we turned to Ira's love of Judith no matter how she treats him and his ability to put holes in just about anything. Asher came up with power and strength (which I think every child has in abundance). Evie came up with unconditional love (she said loving no matter what happens). Ira is definitely a deeply loving character. He's so strong, but he loves Judith so tenderly, even when she is at her worst.

Alex - Alex was the most interesting character to me. Every other character seems to ignore him. They never listen to what he says. Asher interpreted this as 'the one who is left out and is different'. Evie interpreted it as 'the one who is ignored'. I think this is pretty much the different aspects of the same thing. I really found my children's different interpretations to be very telling of their own personalities. Evie being the only girl who often feels that everyone ignores her. And Asher often times feeling 'different' than those around him.

Douglas - Douglas is the peacemaker, but is also the one who seems to get picked on. He's wise and has a load of unknown smarts that he just keeps to himself because he's not a natural leader like Carol. He only pushes his knowledge on people when he knows that he has to. He's the wisdom that emerges from each child as they gain a bit of maturity and knowledge.

Bull Guy - They never name this character in the movie as far as we could remember and he only has a couple of lines. He is the most 'unexplored' aspect of Max's personality - he's Max's sweet side - his meek side. The side that is not so overconfident, angry and upset. He's the quiet part of Max that lovingly looks at his mother and feels guilty when he is destructive.

Bob and Terry - these cute little guys were a little more difficult for my kids to understand. We talked about them a lot. I asked them why Max and Carole couldn't understand Bob and Terry. I also asked them why they thought Bob and Terry were represented by Owls. Asher finally came up with "They must be adults, because adults are hard to understand sometimes." I was kind of floored that he came up with it, but there it was! I asked Evie if she concurred and she said, "Well, they could be adults or they could just be people who are different from Max and Carol." Both ideas are pretty good, I think.

Overall, I think the kids enjoyed the movie a great deal. It keeps with the spirit and themes of the book - a boy throws a tantrum, escapes to an imaginary world to deal with his feelings and ultimately resolves some of his issues and comes home from his imaginary world. It also seems to throw in a few more mature themes every child between 6 and adolescence deals with at some point. If I were rating it, I'd give it a 4/5 for content and a 5/5 for visual effects. My almost 4 year old enjoyed it purely based on the visuals. Fabulous movie!

Coming out of the dark

Between the last entry and today, I've come to a new place... As I said before, writing has always been my best therapy. I wrote a story a couple of weeks ago that helped me tremendously and I seem to have finally come to terms with my great nephew's death. I think anyway... I am still grieving - I think there will always be a part of me that is grieving. But to move forward, I had to write... And write I did. What came out felt inspired - I wrote it in about a half hour and it all just poured out. I sent it to my sister and niece for Michael's birthday on October 2. They both liked it and I think it could possibly help other people with children who have lost siblings or even just people who have lost children.

In any case, hopefully, my blog will become a place of light and education again and I will no longer be posting sad and heavy things... So, back to reality people!

:D

Poetry

Year and years ago, I used poetry to reason out my feelings and thoughts on things that stressed me out. It was my biggest form of therapy. I shared my poetry to begin healing from past traumas... No one will doubt that this year has been a rough year for a lot of people. My grief hits me at odd moments and I become completely overwhelmed with it. It is hard to put my feelings into words properly. Every time I try to, I get told by one person or another that this 'wasn't God's fault' or that 'God gave us free will'. I know people are trying to make me feel better. (I think) All that saying these things to me does is make me angrier and angrier. I feel like these well meaning people are trying to defend a God that just is not there for those he created. People say to call Him Father (Even the Bible says to call him Abba - Daddy - Father). Well, a father who isn't there to pick you up when you fall down is not a good father. I know what a GOOD father is and I know what a BAD father is. I've seen both sides of it.

People say that God is perfect - if God was so perfect, then why is creation so IMPERFECT? Would it not stand to reason that if God is perfect, then his creation should be as well. When God created man, he screwed up - big time. Man is possibly God's biggest mistake EVER. I know what people will say to this - God gave man free will - and they used this free will to screw up - and that's not God's fault. Okay, whatever.

People say that God has a bigger plan - if God's plan includes the murder of innocent babies, then I don't want to be part of that bigger plan. Sorry, God. I just don't.

So, anyway, back to poetry. This is my first attempt at poetry in years. It is dark, negative, and miserable. But that is where I am right now, when I'm not being Mommy, Wife, Teacher, etc. It is a really hard and terrible place to be. Some people when grieving cling to their image of God. I'm so dang angry right now that I can't see God through the anger. I just can't.

Oblivion

(5 stanza Haiku)

9/28/09 - Stephanie N. Street

Insufficient tears.

I shed them by the thousands,

God? Where were you then?

No resolution.

For he will never come home.

We long for some peace.

Living inside hell.

Eternal anger and pain.

Why give God glory?

All lost memories

Taken too soon from our grasp.

No time to feel joy.

Child gone into night

Gone because of one mistake.

Forever broken.

New Day... New Attitude...

Yesterday morning was really, really rough! All of this crap that has been bogging me down finally let loose and I cried and cried. Sometimes, to begin to move on, we must have the break downs and the tears.

We went to the park yesterday afternoon and the kids played for three hours out in the sun. We all got a little sun burned, but being able to play with friends and relax without all the pressures of academics was very nice.

I have decided to take a new approach to homeschooling this year since what we have been doing isn't working at all. Time4learning.com is still working very well for Evie, but I pulled Asher from the program at the end of July. He's been working on book work since. He was doing a pretty rigorous course of study with pre-algebra and writing and he was fighting me every single day. We argue, cry, scream and generally do not get along when doing school work. It has been miserable.

Back to our new approach... Evie will continue with time4learning because she loves it. She'll be doing Math and Language Arts at least 3 days per week. Asher continue with pre-algebra (albeit at a slightly slower pace) because he wants to continue. But for the rest of it - we will read... and read... and read... and read! Fiction, non-fiction, history, science and story books! We will focus on writing what we want to write. It is an experiment.

My kids are anywhere from 1-3 years ahead in academics right now, so I do not worry about our kids 'falling behind'. Whatever that means. But for my sanity and to save my relationship with Asher, I am more than willing to slow our pace down a bit and be a little less of a slave driver!

I'm hoping to blog our progress and I hope to start my kids' book review site up soon. I'll be sure to post a link when we get it going!

Tragedy...

I often wondered before this year, how I would handle things if sudden tragedy hit me close to home. This year, I have had to deal with sadness and immeasurable grief. The worst of what I have witnessed has brought me pain and anguish beyond anything I have ever been through. My great nephew was murdered by his father in March. My great nephew was five months old. Those around me already knew this, so it's not huge news, but for me, this has been the single most transforming event of my life. Since March, I have learned a lot about myself and learned that there is a lot about God's will that I will never understand or like.

After the funeral, I came home completely dazed and confused. My hand, where I had touched my poor little nephew as he lay in his tiny coffin stayed cold for months. I have dreams and flashbacks. The emotional trauma of the whole event has been so severe, that it has sent me into a depression that sometimes seems insurmountable. Some days, I do not even feel as if I can lift my head off of my pillow! We took a break from homeschooling because of all I was feeling and I am having a heck of a time, figuring out how to homeschool again now that I feel I am coming out of my nearly 6 month stupor.

I chronicled the whole funeral and the days leading up to it in a journal that I am not ready to share with anyone but those who are close. I have been heartbroken for my niece and my sister, but really don't know what to do to help them. I call, I visit, I love. That is all I can really do for them. Losing a child... Losing a grandchild... That is a hurt that one does not come away from unscarred. Having your child/grandchild murdered by someone you thought you could trust is an event that leaves gashes in your soul. Michael was not my child and the gashes in my soul left from the manner of his death are horrific.

So, how have I handled all of this tragedy this year? Not just Michael's death, but the other tragic and untimely deaths that have occurred around me all year... I'm not sure handled is the right word. I have coped. Barely. I have gone kicking and screaming into deepest depths of Depression Ocean and surfaced again, gasping for air. Air that will never seem as sweet as it did before Michael's death. My grief is so overwhelming at times and simply existing has been challenging. I push my way through the fear and uncertainty and somehow continue.

Getting back to a routine helped somewhat. I have continued our monthly games night, I am attempting homeschooling again. Being there for my kids is what has kept me afloat. Evie and Asher know what happened to Michael. They did not attend the funeral, but the last time we visited my sister, we went to his grave and they made a pretty flower bouquet to decorate his grave stone.

Our school year has not gotten off to a great start and I am pondering some other ways of learning this year until I can work my way through all of this. Asher is having a particularly hard time and I just don't know how to approach learning with him right now. He is reaching adolescence and there is no one crankier than a child going through huge growth spurts, loose teeth and hormonal changes. There are days that I feel wholly and completely inadequate for the job and want to just quit. There are days when he is so cranky, that frankly, I just want him to go read in his room and leave the rest of the house alone! I love him and love being around him, when he's not tired, grumpy and making life miserable for every person in this house.

Living is key in all of this - I will live through my children's adolescence. I will live through my grief. I will live... because simply surviving is not sufficient.

Insanity.

I will not get into why exactly my brain has been so fried lately.  But let me just say that grief and depression coupled with a cursed home improvement project that just seems to go on and on has had me kind of in a tizzy both mentally and physically.   When we are stressed, our children sense it and it adds to their stress too.  Having stressed out children adds to our own stress and it becomes a vicious cycle.  

We started school back at the beginning of July and here I am at the end of July already discouraged and frustrated.  I have sent Asher to his room for the rest of the day today because he just couldn't do anything today without a rotten attitude.  Evie has been working through her school work diligently today and that is a good thing.  Small mercies...

But what do you do when your brain is completely frazzled, the children are all over the very last nerve you have left, and the house is in chaos?  Everyone says, "Take a break!  The kids will learn when they learn!"  But I took a break from basically April until the end of June.  Not to mention the 'break' I had back in March while attending an extraordinarily sad and stressful funeral in another state.  

Here is my question:  When stressful years happen (and I say years because 2009 has been a doozy) is it worth it to just do the bare minimum in your homeschooling journey and leave the rest for another time?  Do we just do core subjects like reading, writing, math and find fun activities to teach the rest?  At this point, that is where I am.  Science and History are important, but really, in the end, does it matter when my children learn the scientific names of animals, the periodic table of elements, the date of the last battle of the civil war, or how long it took Christopher Columbus to sale across the ocean blue back in 1492?  Does it matter when they learn it as long as eventually, they gain a basic knowledge of our world's history and the scientific method?   

Honestly, I think part of my depression and current self-doubt and loathing are because I am unable to get out of the house and do the things I normally like doing with the kids.  Play dates, trips to the park, walks at the greenway or the mall - I can't do those things during the day because of the bathrooms of doom.  I am, more or less, stuck at the house with the kids a good portion of my time right now and I am a person who loves to be on the go.  My kids beg me to go places all the time now.  I think I have conditioned them to desire movement and when we are still, they get restless.  And so do I.

Mouse Guard Roleplaying Game

Asher and Josh are trying to get together a Mouse Guard Roleplaying game.  Asher is making his first character for this and is really trying hard to get it right.  He has to develop some narrative around this character.  It is really his first foray into creative writing.  Up until now, he has written mostly non-fiction when I've been able to get him to write anything at all.  He's really taking this new game very seriously.  Here is what he has so far on his character, Caesar:

The Mice:

Caesar - 19 - Caesar is a mouse who is quick witted, nimble, sharp eyed, tough and likes weather.

Augustus - 14 - Caesar's younger brother likes to bug Caesar.

Romeo - 45 Caesar’s father  Romeo taught Caesar and Augustus the art of sword craft which built up Caesar’s toughness.

Julia - 42 Caesar’s mother taught him correct cooking skills for his journey when he became a guard.

Saxon - 28 - Caesar’s mentor and uncle.  Saxon is Romeo’s brother. Saxon taught him more sword craft after entering the guard.

Lieam - Caesar’s best friend in the guard.  Caesar and Lieam met during the defense of Ferndale in the Weasel War 2 years ago and have been friends since.  Lieam and Caesar are both being mentored by Saxon.

The Weasels:  

Brutus - 32 - The Weasel Overlord - He had a quick rise to power after he assassinated the previous overlord, Julius.  During the Weasel Wars he ambushed Julius and stabbed him through the back into his heart.

Cicero - 25 - Cassius’ mentor - Weasel Captain - Fought at the battle of Ferndale in the great Weasel War 2 years ago.

Cassius - 19 - Weasel Soldier - Mentored by Cicero.  Fought at the battle of Ferndale in the great Weasel War 2 years ago.  He battled Caesar & Lieam and killed their friend and a great warrior Mark.   Because of this he is Caesar and Lieam’s Arch Enemy.  

Tomorrow, he will be working on a story about all of these characters.  Really, a story about Caesar's life.  I thought his usage of Roman history was very clever!!    Two of the characters, Lieam and Saxon are from the Mouse Guard book.  He used them as inspiration for the Battles and part of Caesar's history.  

This is really such a new way of thinking for him and I'm so pleased to see this side of his brain developing!!

Dealing with fevers...

So 105.2 is a high temperature for a kid, right?  Oz has the Hand, Foot and Mouth virus.  It is seriously no fun.   He has been miserable since Friday - we took him to the ER on Saturday (what a fun fourth of July!).  They gave him fluids and ibuprofen, tylenol.  I now have a slight fever, head ache and feel pretty dang miserable. I am managing to get school done with the kids while I am sick.  All I have to say is thank goodness for Time4learning!  It is a blessing on days like this.  

I await the drywall contractor to come and do his touch up so the painting contractor can come and put on a second coat of paint in both bathrooms.  The new contractor has been wonderful and I am really hoping we will have fresh new bathrooms for games night.  It will be so nice not to have to worry if children are going to fall through the floor when accidentally opening the door!

Our first 2 weeks of school are going well and the kids have really accomplished a lot.  We are starting to find our groove.  Working out a new schedule has been really difficult, but it looks like we have it now.  

Off to take some medicine and hope my fever drops soon.

Origins with the family

We took our family vacation last week to Origins Game Fair and Convention in Columbus, Ohio.  Here are some of the lessons I learned:

1.  Board Room Passes for EVERYONE with a badge.  We didn't do this and while Josh had lots of time to play games, the kids and I were left with way too much down time at the Convention.  

2.  Be sure to NOT let anyone pack the diaper bag without checking it twice for first aid kit, wipes and plenty of diapers.  Between a bloody nose, poopy diapers and a killer tension head ache brought on by the lack of first aid kit and wipes, my stress level was high by the end of the day on Thursday.

3.  Get a hotel room a year in advance - when all the hotels book up quickly, reserving the room well in advance of the con is really important.  We were about 6-8 blocks from the con and riding the bus with a stroller is not fun.  We've booked at the Hyatt already for next year.

4.  Children 3 or under need naps and a schedule - plan accordingly.  We had planned for this somewhat, but not enough. 

5.  Children over 3 get homesick.  The cure for this - physical exhaustion so they will sleep really well.  The best release for Asher on Friday was going to the park with my dad's three sisters.  Next year, after lots and lots of gaming, I will be taking my children to some park or play ground to romp for a while.  They need to romp and run.  

6.  Hotel Sofa Beds are crap.  The springs on the kids' sofa bed were broken, the mattress was awful and the kids were miserable.  Next year, I will bring an air mattress or something if it is needed.  

7.  Leave the baby home.  Oz was great, he rode in his stroller, he napped in his stroller, he played nicely at the hotel room.  But he was exhausting to me - next year, as he will be entering his terrible twos, I think I'll see if Grandma would be willing to keep him for the week.  

8.  Find a way to separate the children for some individual activities.  Asher and Evie had the most fun when he was sword fighting with the Bruce Willis looking guy and she was getting her face painted.  Seriously, the guy looked like Bruce Willis...  No joke...  

9.  Be careful what you eat.  Stomach upset at 3 a.m. when the baby is wanting to sleep with you and the 3 y.o. is already in your bed is so not fun.  Thankfully, Josh took over the baby and Isaac just snuggled up to me really closely between bathroom trips.

10.  RELAX.  I was way too uptight about this trip.  I think next year will be more pleasant whether we take all 4 children or just a couple of them.  

Homeschooling 101 Part III - Types of Homeschooling

There are numerous types of homeschooling and homeschoolers within the homeschooling community.  From classical homeschoolers to unschoolers, the variety within the homeschooling community spans across all racial, religious and ethnic backgrounds.  Homeschooling is not just for "hippies" or "ultra-conservative Christians" any more.  I used to say that there were two camps within homeschooling and I did not fit into either - these were the "Granola-Crunching Tye-Dye Brigade" and the "Bible-Toting Denim Jumper Brigade".  I have absolutely no problems with either of these two 'camps', other than the fact that I did not 'fit' into either of them very well.  

Being a person who never really 'fit' into any one group (except the band geeks in high school), this didn't bother me too much, but it made finding a good match in a homeschooling support group difficult.  I don't think the line between two 'camps' in homeschooling are much more blurred now, at least in North Carolina.  There is a much wider variety of people homeschooling now than ever before.  Finding your niche in homeschooling is a lot like finding your niche in life.  So, when beginning homeschooling one must examine themselves and see where they fit.

I will begin by describing what I think of as opposite ends of the homeschooling spectrum:  unschooling and classical education.  These two forms of homeschooling are equally valid and I’ve seen highly educated students coming from both ends.  Honestly, the differences between the two, in my opinion, do not matter as long as knowledge is acquired and children are learning.  Depending upon your children’s learning styles, unschooling may be right for one child and classical right for another.  Here are brief descriptions of the two methods:

Unschooling varies from unschooler to unschooler, but basically, unschooling is the process of eliminating the use of a formal curriculum and replacing it with self-directed learning focusing on the individual child.  Some unschoolers do provide curriculum to their children, but just as a resource for self-directed learning.  Unschooling uses life to learn all the core subjects (reading, writing, math).  Unschoolers encourage their children to find their passions and do research to educate themselves.  They also encourage their children to learn at their own pace.  

Classical Education uses time tested methods to teach children not only core subjects, but usually subjects such as logic and Latin.  Classical Educators can use a variety of curricula or even a boxed curriculum to teach each of these subjects, but are typically rigorous in their academics.  Again, though, even in the classical arena, education can be self-paced if the parent and child desire.    

Homeschooling takes many other forms along the spectrum between Classical Education and Unschooling.    Traditional Education; Unit Studies; Distance or Virtual Learning; Eclectic.  These methods take many forms, but I will try to describe them as I have seen them typically applied.

Some families choose to do a boxed curriculum and set a traditional ‘school at home’ type of schedule.  This sort of homeschooling usually looks like a regular institutional style education with a set schedule and ‘typical’ scope and sequence - meaning children learn certain concepts and skills at certain ages just like in public school.

Unit Studies are a great resource for just about any form of homeschooling.  This method takes a subject or theme and uses this to learn all core subjects.  Unit studies are also great for those who have children of multiple ages because these studies can be covered on many levels.  Some families choose this as their primary form of education which is why I include it as a ‘type’ of homeschooling.  A family could do a unit study on the plant life cycle.  This unit study could include: mathematics to measure a growing plant, science in growing the plant in the first place; social studies by studying the history of the plant within society; geography by studying different plants in different regions of the world; and reading by doing research on how to grow plants or reading about the plant life cycle; and even writing by developing a composition based upon the results of any science experiments or books read.  A parent and child(ren) could easily go from topic to topic doing nothing but unit studies to learn all subjects.

Distance or Virtual Learning is becoming popular among many homeschooling families because of the ease in planning it provides.  Any of the other forms of homeschooling take a serious time commitment in lesson plans and lesson execution.  A virtual learning tool such as www.time4learning.com provides the lesson planning for the parent so they can focus on helping the child learn the material.  What virtual or distance learning takes away is the customization a family has with other forms of homeschooling.  Some families choose to use Virtual Learning tools as a supplement to another type of homeschooling.

This is where Eclectic Education comes into play.  Eclectic Homeschooling involves using whatever resources or types of homeschooling a parent feels is necessary to accomplish learning.  From what I have seen, a lot homeschooling families fall into this category.  This is the category that most closely matches my family.  We use a virtual learning tool (www.time4learning.com) as our primary curriculum, but add in unit studies, video games, science experiments, literature and whatever else I can find to pour as much learning into my little spongy children as I can.  

I hope this helps someone in the quest to find a way to home educate their children.  Any of these methods can be used effectively to help a child learn.  The trick to doing so is finding the one that works for both your child and yourself.  Try to be flexible and don't go out and spend a ton of money on one thing in the beginning.  Research and experiment and see what works for all parties.  

Homeschooling 101 Part II - Balancing Act...

I have been married for 12 years.  I have been a mother for 11 (if you count my pregnancy with Asher).  I have been homeschooling my kid(s) for 7 years.  You'd think that by now, I'd have it all together and know exactly what I'm doing all the time.  Unless they come into my house, most mom's I meet think I do have it all together.  I've been called an 'earth momma' by a good friend.  My step father tells me that I am patient with my kids.   Others say I have 'well behaved' children (these people clearly haven't seen my children when they are in their native habitat).

I lack any confidence in what these kind hearted people say about me or my children.  Seventy-five percent of the time, I feel frazzled, annoyed, disheveled, caffeinated (because how else am I going to stay awake?), and most of all scared out of my mind!  I never feel 'together', I have trouble following schedules, I'm constantly late even though I try really hard to be early to everything.  While my confidence in my children's education has grown a bit, I question my own sanity at least once daily.

I know a lot of mom's who work outside their homes (or inside) for pay.  I know several moms who homeschool while working for pay...  I don't know how these moms do it.  

Here is what a typical day looks like in my house during the school year:  

8:30 a.m. - Wake Up and breakfast, drink some form of caffeinated beverage.

9:00 a.m. - Start yelling at the children to get dressed and get their chores done.

9:30 a.m. - Threaten the children with restriction from video games and television unless they get their behinds on their chores and get their behinds into some clothing.

10:00 a.m. - Finally sit down to get started on school work, drink some form of caffeinated beverage.

11:00 a.m. - Throw some chicken nuggets into the oven for lunch then sit back down with the kids and their school work.

12:00 p.m. - Remember the chicken nuggets in the oven that are now smoking up the entire kitchen.

12:15 p.m. - Put in a new pan of chicken nuggets.

12:30 p.m. - Feed the nuggets to the children then get back on school work with the kids.

1:30 p.m. - Put the little ones down for their naps.

2:00 p.m. - Put Isaac back in bed after he sneaks out into the hallway.

2:30 p.m. - Finish school with the kids and recover the living room from the havoc wreaked by the little ones while we were working.  Caffeinated Beverage time again.

3:30 p.m. - Realize that I have taken out no meat for dinner and run to the freezer to find something.

3:32 p.m. - Smell a strange smell emanating from the play room and realize the dog has had an 'accident'.  Yell at Asher to clean up after his dog.

3:33 p.m. - Run upstairs to use the bathroom.  Then realize that we are going to be late for theatre class.

3:35 p.m. - Pull the babies out of bed and buckle them in their car seats.  Pull out of the drive way, only to back back into it to shut and lock the door.  Pull back out of the driveway only to realize I didn't crate the dog.  Drive around the block, back into the driveway and run back in to crate the dog.

4:10 p.m. - Arrive at theatre class 10 minutes late.

5:30 p.m. - Drive home from theatre class and realize I never took meat out of the freezer.

6:00 p.m. - Brown a frozen pack of ground beef and make spaghetti.

6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. - Eat dinner, Baths, bed time snacks, bed time...

9:30 p.m. - Yell at children to stop going to the bathroom and get to sleep.

10:00 p.m. - I do Laundry, Josh does the dishes, a bit of cleaning, computer and TV time for mom and dad.

12:00 a.m. - 1:00 a.m. - Get to bed so we can start the cycle all over again the next day! Though, Josh, God bless him, gets up at 4:30 to go to work!!  Amazing man I married, indeed.

Then the cycle starts all over again the next day with different times for classes or activities, but pretty much the same routine each day.  I savor the days when we don't do school work because that means, I might be able to play with the kids, get some nitty-gritty cleaning done or run some errands.  

We do school work usually four days per week, but the days vary because of our class/social schedule.  Sometimes we go Monday through Thursday, sometimes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday.  There are weeks that we don't do school work at all - but as long as we get in our required 180 days that the state requires us to track, when we operate doesn't really matter.  

Balancing work (by that I mean house work, because I can't really relate to the kind you get paid for), school, and making sure the children are all attended to and happy, is not an easy task.  I've finally found a routine that means I won't have to do 14 loads of laundry in one day (who knew that doing laundry daily would reduce my amount of stress?).  

That brings me to another point...  When you are homeschooling your kids, it is almost a necessity that the working parent pitch in on the house work, in my opinion.  Homeschooling - especially when you have more than one child to teach and cart around - is a full time job.   I work really hard to make sure my children are educated - think about the work a school teacher does - it is a full time.  Add in the responsibilities of being a parent and caring for a household and it is tiring.  The least any working spouse can do is realize the enormity of educating their child in an affordable fashion (because homeschooling is so much cheaper than private schools) and appreciate the hard work the teaching parent does to get that done. I am so fortunate to have a spouse who works very hard both at work and at home.  

A homeschooling parent is not just a 'house wife' (or husband).  A house wife usually sends her children off to school on the bus (unless she has toddlers/babies) and has 6 hours in which to run errands, clean house and take care of her household business.  This is hard work as well, and I am not diminishing the work a house wife does, but add in teaching one or more children and the other responsibilities are going to suffer.  

There are some people who can do it all and not have to partake of 5 caffeinated beverages a day.  I am not one of those people.  I must have help and support.  Thankfully, I have it!  Do I have balance?  No...  I still get incredibly stressed and question myself every day.  I think that is a natural thing to do though.  Doubt and questions are healthy to a point.  I don't obsess any more about my children's capabilities and progress, but I do try every day to find balance between being mommy and being teacher.  Really, I am both at all times and that can be hard...

Homeschooling 101 Part I - Getting Started

Several friends have been asking me about how to get started with homeschooling lately.  It is kind of a weird experience because I am just now realizing that I'm now a 'veteran homeschooler'.  Also, a lot of my friends from high school that I have reconnected with via FaceBook are just now having kids of school age since I started having kids about 5 years before any of those friends.  I thought that blogging about it might be a helpful place to start.  I haven't blogged in ages for family crisis reasons and it seems now is the time to get back into the swing of things.  So, thank you to those friends for pushing my brain back into life so that the rest of me will follow!!  

Okay, so looking at Kindergarten Curriculum - do not get overwhelmed with Kindergarten - it is JUST kindergarten. Cover the basics - learn to read, learn to count to 100, learn to do simple addition and subtraction starting with manipulatives (which can be as simple as blueberries or cheerios or as complex as counting bears and blocks) and move on to numbers. Lego's are also great for that sort of thing and are usually plentiful in my house. Add in some writing but don't expect your child's handwriting to be as beautiful as your own - especially if you have a boy - boys tend to be harder to teach to write for some strange reason. I've read articles on it, but still don't understand it. I have a 10 year old boy that is *still* learning to write and a 6 year old girl whose handwriting is prettier than the boy...  

There are a lot of 'box curricula' to choose from. A lot of them are faith based which is not a problem unless you happen to be a secular homeschooler like myself. The science in these faith based curriculum, while fine for those who believe and wish to teach that way are not for my family, but may be for yours. I won't cover any of those, because I haven't used them and don't really know them all that well. Other than the fact that they are mostly young earth/creation based which just happens to be the opposite of what I believe. Don't judge me on this - I simply happen to be a creative evolutionist.  

Okay, on to the stuff that I actually have used... Books you may want to pick up - Home Learning Year by Year; What Your Kindergartner Needs to Know; Story of the World (Audio CDs are the way to go - on your way too and from anywhere, the kids can get their history in with no work on your part). Some others - How to Homeschool Your Child for Free. And if you want to go with a Classical style of education look at The Well Trained Mind.  

After you have read all those (or skimmed them) and are thoroughly freaked out that you can't do it, then take a deep breath and reassert that it is ONLY kindergarten. You CAN'T do any worse than most traditional schools and your kids will be with you, following your own schedule, maintaining their relationships (that sometimes fall away when kids begin school), and getting lots of social interaction in ways other than traditional school. You will have BAD days, but you will have GREAT days - and my kids get more learning in before noon on school days than most kids get done in a full day of traditional school.  

Now the good stuff - K Curriculum: For Asher I used BOB Books for Reading, Singapore Math (though it took 3 other types of curriculum to get us to that point), Story of The World for History (on CD). We did some unit studies for Science - we did Body, Plants, Magnets, simple Chemistry (vinegar and baking soda, pickling cucumbers, jelly making, lots of food chemistry and cooking). We did some Handwriting without tears which made him cry at the time, but Evie has liked well enough... You can find most of these books on Amazon or at a local homeschooling store if you've got one (more on that later).  

For Evie we started with Singapore's Early Bird Kindergarten for math and struggled up one side and down the other for reading. It was overwhelming and frustrating and she just wasn't learning very well at all. In January of last year, we found www.time4learning.com - this web site has been WONDERFUL. It starts out covering all subjects in Kindergarten with Math, Language Arts and a Playbox Theme Time that covers different things for each month of the year. By June, she had finished all of the kindergarten and was on to the first grade - by this January she was done with all of first grade and was on to second grade. Now she is doing some second grade, but mostly third grade.  

Asher is also using this web site and it is wonderful. We still add in some hands-on fun history and science field trips and experiments.  But for the 'book work' using our computer has been great!

Some other great resources is www.currclick.com - they have a new Free PDF download each week if you subscribe to their newsletter.  They also have a lot of e-books that I have found wonderful for supplemental or extra practice.  Mammoth Math is really good for math drills and I've downloaded several 'Lap Books' pretty neat.  (I bought a LOAD of manila file folders for these, so if you are local, and use these, come get some from me instead of going out and buying a pack!!)

If you are in the Charlotte Area, my BEST resource over the past few years for information and knowledge has been Misty Spinelli and Growing Scholars Homeschooling stores (both the north and the south store staff are very knowledgeable and helpful!)

To get started - seriously just start teaching your child the sounds of his or her letters and the value of numbers.  Watch a lot of Between The Lions on PBS, sing songs, tell stories, let your child tell stories (and write them down because you'll forget them!), and most importantly READ!  Read everything you can...  Dr. Seuss, classic children's tales like Chicken Little, Skippy John Jones...  Find picture books that repeat words, rhymes, and rhythms.  A great book by a local friend of mine is really helpful for the 2-4 year old crowd is called The Potty Train by Dar Draper.  It's funny and you can sing it to your kids over and over and make them laugh...  

The big question I had when I first started was this:  How do I know I am getting in everything I need to get with the kid? I never got a good answer to this question and had to find it on my own.  But I bought the 'What your Kindergartner Needs to Know' book and 'Home Learning Year by Year' and they were both very helpful.  A couple years later, I found the North Carolina Standard Course of Study and that was a great resource for squashing my worries.  By this point, Asher was ahead of the game on most counts and on time on all the others.  The only other source I use for legal stuff is the North Carolina Department of Non-Public Education web site.  It can tell you what you need to do to legally homeschool in the state of North Carolina.

So that's my 2 cents for the beginning homeschooling family...  (Okay, maybe it's my $1.50)