35 New Years!

This New Year's Eve is my 35th new year.  I turn 35 next Christmas.  In honor of that, I want to share my resolution!  Last year I was determined to establish and maintain a healthy activity level with specific goals.  I have done so with Taekwondo and am now thoroughly hooked on seeing it through as far as it will take me.  I've gone from a white belt to a purple belt and I love attending classes.  Goals are important to me.  I have to start small and work my way up to the big stuff like losing weight.  This year, I thought about saying, "I will lose 35 lbs before I am 35 next Christmas." Nah...  This seemed like setting myself up for failure.  I feel like setting a number of pounds on myself like that is way too high pressure.  I decided instead to change 35 things about my lifestyle and eating habits - a little at a time and see where that gets me at the end of the year. I plan on tackling these things one at a time and ingraining in myself a real desire to be healthier.     In addition to maintaining my current activity level, here is the list I'd like to accomplish before the next year is done:

1. Limit my fast food intake to once a week. This is a challenge because we are constantly on the go.  I think that if I can do more ahead of time preparation, this will be a little easier.
2. Limit Dr. Pepper and/or caffeinated energy drinks to 3 cans a week.  I'd like to cut them out completely, but I just don't see it happening.  I will make coffee at home instead which is a lot cheaper and probably healthier too.
3. Take my Vitamin supplements regularly.  I wouldn't have to drinks so many of those coffee energy drinks with B vitamins if I were receiving enough B vitamins through the supplements already sitting in my cabinet.
4. Eat fresh vegetables consistently and daily. I buy them.  I put them in the fridge with the intention of preparing them and eating them, and they rot, because we go to fast food instead.
5. Eat fresh fruit consistently and daily. (See 4)
6. Limit my red meat consumption to 1 day per week. 
7. Eat beans at least once a week.
8. Eat fish at least once a week.
9. Cook at home at least 5 days per week.
10. Decrease the number of Reese's Big Cups I eat.  I will not set a number on this because I really don't want anyone to know (Except those down at Rick's Convenience Store) how many of these I currently eat.
11. Eat only when I am truly hungry.
12. Do not eat past full.
13. Enjoy fatty sweet foods as special treats instead of occasional meals. (see number 10)
14. Waste less food that I buy to stock my pantry and fridge.
15. Find out how many calories I burn in a day on average.
16. Worry less about how many calories and fat grams I take into my body and stop feeling guilty about it.
17. Consume more healthy foods that will give me energy naturally.  
18. Find out which foods are high energy foods.
19. Drink more pure water. (as opposed to things like vitamin waters)
20. Keep a food and activity journal consistently.
21. Grow more vegetables and have the garden be the bulk of my spring/summer food intake.
22. Visit the farmer's market more often.
23. Buy more local meat.
24. Find out which foods I am currently eating that negatively affect my workouts and replace them with foods that will positively affect my workouts.
25. Make meal menus.
26. Use the crock pot more often.
27. Eat less bread.
28. Drink at least one glass of milk each day.
29. Worry less often and relax more often.
30. Stop allowing negative body image thoughts into my brain - even during PMS.
31. Dress up and "look pretty" at least one day a week.
32. Finish our school year by Mid spring so I can be outdoors more before it is super hot.
33. Get outdoors more often - even when it is miserably hot/cold.
34. Give my body a chance to detox from years of fast food and fatty food abuse. 
35. Widen my palette and try new foods.  

I think listing the things I really want to change about myself this year will give me mini goals to reach over the course of each month.  So...  35/12 is about 3 things each month.  I think that is more than doable and it doesn't seem like such a huge monstrous task.  I wonder if I can save the one about the Reese's big cups for last...  Probably not!

I've spent a lot of time over the course of the past month battling. We go through this every September and every year I nearly throw in the towel on homeschooling. The transition from summer to fall is very hard on me and my kids. I am dealing with some seasonal depression that seems to take hold in September when I see the first leaves changing on the trees and doesn't seem to let up until I see the first crocuses pop through the ground in mid-February. My children are coping with the transition from our light summer school schedule to a more rigorous academic schedule. So every end of August through September, we gradually ramp up our activities and school schedule and every September, we turn into a bunch of stark-raving-mad-screaming-fighting-fussing animals. This is our eighth year of homeschooling and I still fight this battle. Every... Single... Year... It is discouraging. It is heartbreaking. It makes me want to pull the few remaining scraggly hairs out of my formerly lustrous mane of hair.

We have tried schooling year round to prevent the battle. We have tried keeping a very set schedule year round. We have also tried no work for summer, taking breaks at other times of year, etc. Inevitably, summer time activities such as swimming, gardening, and vacations get in the way of our summer time academic schedule. Nothing we do seems to prevent this beginning of the school year struggle. There is also usually the post-Christmas struggle. Oh, don't forget the every single Monday struggle that seems to last all year with a few exceptions. So what it boils down to is that I must homeschool seven days a week and 365 days a year for my children to be cooperative.

This summer, I kept a loose academic schedule, where everyone had to work at least three days per week on core subjects, usually on Monday, Thursday, and Friday. They only had to do a little in each subject. I was working with one child to play some catch up in math and the other transition to high school academics. I held off on starting the other two children on preschool and kindergarten work until August. Mid-August rolled around and the first week of school went okay. The next week, the battles began.

We reward excellence in academics and conduct. We punish poor conduct and reteach poor academics (though that has changed with my high school child, he now just gets bad grades). We have always done this, and one would think the children would get it by this point in their lives. I've said to them hundreds of times, "If you get your work done early, we can go do something fun!". Or "If you do well and work quickly today, we have some new episodes of Glee and Doctor Who to watch today!". Or, "If you will just get it done, you can go outside!". Or' "Straighten up your attitude, so we can have fun today!" Why won't they listen?

Now we are having trust issues. Instead of doing his work, my high schooler has chosen to play his favorite video game. Resulting in a lot of procrastination and very little getting done in the way of his core subject work. He is missing deadlines and his scores are falling. He is missing Taekwondo practices, field trips, and now we have even deleted the favorite video game from his computer. He is miserable because he is missing all his fun activities. My daughter is also missing things because of her attitude problems. She is grumpy, probably hormonal, and is frustrated with the world. We are getting a lot of 'victim' type of comments, which just doesn't fly with me. She really doesn't have a clue what a victim is. I try to be sympathetic when she is sad, but disrespect and whining is just not acceptable.

On top of everything, I am missing time with my younger two children because I am dealing with the older two children. This leaves them bored and wrecking my house while I deal with the problems the other two children are having. Or it leaves me forcing the younger children to play in their room for sometimes two hours a day where I am unable to educate them at all! I have heard of these homeschool moms using their older children to help teach the younger children, but when it is a battle to get the older ones to do their school work, this just isn't feasible. I don't even have a clue how I would schedule that when we are having these 6-10 hour school days that we have had over this past month.

We have tried to all sit down at the same time every day and do more of a "school at home" sort of approach. Honestly, this might work on some days, it might not on others. My three year old is particularly rambunctious and he can only sit still for a short time. Not nearly enough time to get the others educated.

If someone ever figures out a formula to get four differently aged children (the oldest of which has an ASD) to sit down and work diligently and quickly, let me know. I am totally exasperated at this point.


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Location:Homeschooling Burnout

Hiking in Uwharrie National Forest - Denson's Creek Trail

It was field trip day today. We traveled about an hour from our house to the ranger station in Uwharrie National Forest on 24/27 just past Troy, NC. We met some friends there for a hike on Denson's Creek trail. It is a 2.2 mile hike (on the long loop) and there is a beautiful creek at one end of the trail.
We saw crawdads, minnows, wolf spiders, a plethora of fungi and types of moss, loads of beautiful evergreen and deciduous trees, lizards, caterpillars, and generally just had a great time tromping around in the woods and creek for several hours. We packed a lunch and ate after we returned from the hike. It was a great day. All the kids had a fantastic time and Evie says she thinks she was born to hike. We started out around 9:45 and were back to eat our lunch by about 1:00. And we spent quite a bit of time at the creek. Oz (3) even had a great time and walked the whole way! Here are some of my favorite pictures from the trip:

































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Story to comfort the grieving

This week a boy in our Taekwondo school passed away. It has made me think a lot about 2009 when we lost a young family member too soon. To experience the death of a child you love is possibly the most tragic thing that can happen in a person's life. The affects are lifelong. The following is a story I wrote to comfort my family after our loss. I hope it can help others.

Michael Goes to Earth

Once upon a time there was a tiny angel in heaven named Michael. Michael was smaller than all the other angels but God had given him an important job. He was in charge of Heaven’s Nursery. Most people don’t know that there is a nursery in heaven. But there is - ALL the children and babies who for one reason or another do not grow up to be adults go there. It is the place all the babies go if they die.

All the other angels loved to visit the nursery and play with the children. Michael loved all the children too - but he especially loved the babies. He loved giving them baths, snuggling with them, feeding them, and even changing their diapers. He cared for them so much, but since he had never been a baby (since he was an angel and angels come into being in very different ways than humans), he always wondered what it would be like to be born, have a mommy and maybe even a sister like some of the other babies in heaven. Michael loved being an angel - but he was a very curious sort of spirit.

And he wondered often about things outside of heaven. What is earth like? What do animals feel like? He was especially fascinated with Iguanas and Dogs - he’d seen pictures in one of the story books he read to the nursery children and really wanted to see and touch an iguana’s scales and feel a dog’s fur.

Michael was also very curious about mommies. “What do Mommies smell like?” he asked God.

God replied, “Well, Michael, mommies smell like hot chocolate, cookies and microwave pop corn all mixed together.”

“What do Mommies feel like?” Michael asked.

“Mommies are soft and squishy like the warmest feather pillow. Mommies have gentle hands, warm skin, and they have warm salty tears that they shed when they really love something - especially their children.” God told Michael.

Michael asked God about all of these things constantly! God was very kind and told him what these things felt like, but while God is a master at describing things, Michael was still very curious about the Earth. Finally, after being asked about iguanas and dogs for the hundredth time, God asked Michael if he would like a brief opportunity to fulfill all his dreams and experience: the feel of iguanas and dogs, what it is like to have a sister, but most of all what it is like to have a mommy. God told him that it would only be brief - that he would only have a very short time to experience all these things. After all, the other angels were not nearly as good at caring for the nursery as Michael was and he was needed back in heaven just as soon as possible.

Michael was so excited! He could not wait to be and do the things he had always wondered about. He looked at God and said, “Let’s do this thing! I’m ready!” So God reached out a solitary finger and touched the very tip of Michael’s tiny little nose. WHOOSH! POP! Michael found himself floating around in a warm liquid space. Over time, he began to see his new environment. It smelled like hot chocolate, cookies and microwave pop corn. He began to explore his new body - it was GROWING! He was so excited to be growing. Soon he had fingers and toes just like the babies in heaven. He loved baby fingers and baby toes so much. They were so cute and he wiggled them and watched them and savored every minute of it. What adorable fingers and toes he had!

He learned to suck his thumb - which was something that he had learned to do from the babies in heaven. After all, they loved to suck their thumbs. He learned to kick his legs. Soon he realized that he wasn’t alone. He could hear a “Thump! Thump!” and he began to hear a voice. This voice sounded like an angel when she sang. He certainly knew angel song when he heard it. When she would sing, he would kick and squirm with pure joy! He soon realized that this voice was so close and he could reach out and touch its owner. This must be his mother he decided. Only his mother would know how to sing like an angel, after all.

Soon Michael ran out of room in his comfy little liquid place. He was so squished he thought he’d pop! Then he did! Right out of his mommy’s tummy. He came out and it was so cold. It was very bright and for the first time ever, he became scared - and he let everyone know he was scared. He wanted his mommy! Then, suddenly, there she was and just as beautiful as he expected. She had golden hair and deep brown eyes. She looked at him with so much love that Michael knew this must be her. She was soft and warm just like God had promised and he nuzzled right up to her and snuggled down.

Finally, Michael’s mommy told him it was time to go home. At first, he was shocked by this, because he knew that his real home was in heaven. But she took him to a warm house with lots of people and he even had a sister! His sister loved him so much - she had big brown eyes and looked a lot like his mommy only quite a bit shorter.

Michael found out soon that his mommy loved animals of all sorts. She always had animals around her and Michael thought to himself that God had been very wise to give him to this mommy. She had an iguana and a dog - and he got to feel both of these animals. The iguana was warmish and scaly and he decided, that while it was an awesome animal, only experiencing that feeling a few times was plenty. The dog was very soft and warm and fuzzy. He loved the feel of the dog and decided that when he got back to heaven, he must take the children from the nursery on a field trip to Heaven’s Kennel.

Michael didn’t only experience the good things on earth though. He went through all the experiences that little babies go through. He had tummy aches and colds. He began getting sore gums. Oh, Michael was not happy at these times. He would fuss and tell his mommy all about it. You see, Michael had never experienced anything like a tummy ache in heaven. These things just didn’t exist there! These experiences were so different for him that he just didn’t know what to do with them other than cry and tell everyone around him that tummy aches did not make him happy one teensy tiny bit!

One night, after Michael had kissed his mommy goodnight for the third time, God came to him in a dream. God said, “Michael, it is time to come home now. It has been 14 months and the children in the nursery keep asking about you. The kids need for you to referee the kick ball game. The babies need for you to read stories to them.”
Michael awoke with a start. His dream had startled him but he realized that he was needed in heaven - he had a job to do and he had experienced all of his dreams here on earth. He began to cry out for his mommy - could he just smell her and touch her one more time? The lights around him began to dim. He closed his eyes...

When Michael opened his eyes again, God was standing over him with one finger touching the end of Michael’s tiny nose. God smiled at Michael and said, “Welcome back, my tiny angel. We are so glad you are home!” God patted Michael on his head and ruffled his curly blonde locks.

Michael looked to God and smiled. “Oh, God, you are not gonna believe all of this!” and he told God of all he had experienced on Earth. About his dog, his iguana, his beautiful sister, and most of all about his mommy. He told God about how she smelled and how she felt. God was pleased that Michael was so happy with all he had done on Earth. But he was anxious for Michael to take up his post in the nursery because all the other angels who had been filling in were so very busy with other tasks.

God looked at him with a big grin and said, “And now, Michael, get back to work. Vacation is over.”

Michael happily went back to his job at the nursery caring for all the babies and children of heaven - and knowing and understanding now what it was like to be a child, his job meant so much more to him. He thought of his mommy and smiled as he picked up one of his own beautiful babies and began bouncing her on his knee.


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When decisions are made for you

Just found out that my kids' theatre troupe is shutting down. This saddens me greatly. I had pondered not doing classes this coming year, but couldn't imagine my kids life without Kelly Slusarick and her staff diligently teaching them the ins and outs of the theatre. So I had decided to make sure we made theatre part of our priorities this year. Unfortunately, that is not in the cards.

Kelly has been teaching Asher for six years and Evie for four years. Isaac had just begun her program this year and last with one of Kelly's staff and was enjoying it thoroughly. She has been a gigantic part of my children's lives nearly every week for the past six years. Some of them since birth! She saw me through my pregnancies with both Oz and Isaac. They have relished their time with Kelly. I have never had to make them to go to class, they were eager and ready to go every week. When classes were cancelled or were over for a semester, I dreaded telling them because of how sad they would be not to have their time with Kelly at drama class.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the rest of Kelly's family as well. From Scott's dedication, his role as "The Gruffalo" which I will always remember and set building talent, to Sarah's exuberance for life, to Zoe's friendship to my kids. They are an amazing and multitalented family. My family has been lucky to have them in our lives.

My kids have all learned so much from Kelly's program, but I think Asher has benefitted the most. He has gone from being pretty scared to be on stage to belting out a solo from a broadway musical on stage for an audience with absolutely no shyness. He has come so far under her tutelage and encouragement. She has played a vital role in shaping him into the mature and wonderful young man he is today.

So Kelly, Kelly's family, and staff from Acting Up Children's Theatre(especially Elise Dukette) - thank you so much for not only accepting my kids for who they are, but embracing all their uniqueness quite thoroughly. Thank you for teaching, thank you for being there, and for being part of our lives for six years!

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Giving yourself time to implement new things -or- what my garden has taught me about homeschooling

I've been working more on my gardening blog and less on this one of lately. Not sure who reads any of it anyway, but here goes! While I have worked in my garden this year, I have thought a lot about patience. It takes about 60 days from the time the bean sprouts, until you get your first handful of green beans off the vine. It takes that much or longer for so many of my other crops. I get so impatient with my garden, but there is nothing I can do to hurry it along any faster than the plants can actually grow. I can fertilize them, make sure they are planted properly, weed them, squish the buggies that invade, etc. In the end, the fruit comes when it is ready. Which is usually about two or three weeks after I start saying, "Hurry up!!". If I pick the fruit early, it doesn't taste very good. And if I give up, the weeds or pests take over and I don't get much fruit. Sometimes even if I try my hardest, I still don't succeed.

Gardening has taught me to slow down and to savor what I have while I have it. After all, fresh tomato sandwiches only come for me as long as I can keep up my garden. But these lessons apply to my children as well. We have found ourselves way too busy and hurried this past school year. We took some classes on Tuesdays with our homeschooling group, had Theatre classes on Mondays and Thursdays, Taekwondo on Mondays, Tuesdays, and sometimes Wednesdays, once a month games night, homeschool skating, park days, Science Olympiad. We ate a lot of fast food, drank a lot of sodas, didn't get enough rest, didn't get enough academics, didn't have a set schedule, didn't have a clean house, and ached for time to just be a family. By May 31, I was celebrating because we could do school work all summer and that the only activity we had going through the summer regularly was Taekwondo.

July has been our official start to our new school year since we started homeschooling because of the Carolina heat in July and August. This year, we worked all through June as well. We do morning and evening activities and jam on our school work after lunch. It has worked out well and is the schedule I hope to keep for the school year. We will still have a megaton of activities gearing up around September, but my hope is to get enough school work in these three months, so we can scale back to three days a week for the weeks we will be doing our Tuesday classes. (September through the beginning of December then January through the end of April).

Tuesday classes will help me cover Science, History, Art, and PE for the school aged kids. Though I am teaching Evie's Science Olympiad Class, so I have a lot of work to do in preparation for that class. Time4Learning is going to help me cover the other subjects. I will be supplementing Math with Life of Fred, adding in some additional reading time, writing, and literature for the older two, lots of picture books and early readers for the younger two, and doing a couple of hands on nature projects with all the kids.

I am also implementing a new chore system to help us use our time more wisely. I've broken down all our daily and weekly chores into a manageable list. Fifteen tasks on the daily list and 15 tasks on the weekly list. Evie, Asher, Josh and I will each take 3-4 things on the daily list every day. Isaac and Oz have to be helpers on at least four chores of their choosing. We will work as a team on two or three of the weekly chores. I will also make a detail cleaning list for our once monthly deep clean we already do. Hopefully, this bit by bit system will help the weekly and monthly chores a bit easier.

All this seems like I am adding more and more to my schedule of the things we do. But just like my garden, getting us set up to succeed before things really start "blooming" in September is essential. Getting my calendar planned for the year is essential. Getting all the planning and preparation done so we can execute with efficiency is the only way to prevent burn out for the kids and for myself.

I start planning my garden in December and begin adding layers to my raised lasagna beds in September! I don't plant until March and April. Why do I think I can homeschool successfully and seamlessly without planning at least a few months in advance? Why am I just now realizing this EIGHT YEARS into my homeschooling experience?? Not that we haven't been successful, but I don't feel we have been as successful as we could have been if I had thought of some of this before.

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Lasagna Gardening Ingredients

I'm teaching a class on March 5 on Lasagna Gardening. In preparation, some folks have asked me for a supply list. So here it is! I will cover this again in class along with what to do do with all the ingredients. After The class, I will also post my notes and ideas from the class and in general about gardening.

Cardboard Is your official weed reducer. It kills the grass and most of the weeds growing in with the grass. You will need enough to cover the ground where you plan to build your bed.

Straw is not a necessity but will add a level of aeration to the growing medium you are creating for your plants.

Newspaper - can be used in addition to or instead of straw.

Soil is important the first year. A layer or two of sandy top soil is always helpful in introducing the soil borne organisms that will help produce more soils and encourage composting worms to inhabit your garden.

Manure - poo provides a lot of nutrients. Cow poo, horse poo and worm poo work great. As does elephant poo if you can find a circus to obtain it from!

Household food plant based waste. - potato peels, banana peels, coffee grounds, rusty lettuce leaves, broccoli stalks, etc. Anything that grows in the ground can be recycled into garden soil.

Organic Plant Matter (Leaves, Grass Clippings, Store Bought Mulch) start a collection pile this summer as you mow your grass for adding to your garden next fall. My best investment ever was my grass catcher for my mower. Not only does it catch piles and piles of grass, but in the fall, it does a great job of picking up leaves from the 7 pecan trees that incircle my property.

That is really it. Keep in mind that when you build your bed you will need to layer this stuff up about 24 inches deep, at the least.