Josh is on a plane somewhere over the atlantic. Have I ever mentioned
how much I miss him when he's not here??? :( He'll be in London the
rest of this week and will only arrive home after Asher and Isaac's
party on Saturday. It's going to be a cool party though, I hate that
he's missing it. I also have trouble sleeping when he's on a plane at
night. It absolutely kills me not to know where he is exactly. As
long as I have a spot where I can get to him, if I absolutely needed
to, I am good. London is far away, but it's not totally inaccessible
in a dire emergency.
Weird things always happen when he's traveling. Tonight Sirius Black
was humping Max on the couch. This is an hourly occurrence - Sirius
likes to hump everything. Max got up to move and Sirius fell between
the sections of my sectional couch. When he did, his already
protruding penis popped all the way out of its foreskin! All the way
down past his testicles! WOW! That was a freakish site. I called
mom, called the vet and was going to take the stupid puppy to the vet
and have her come over to watch the kids. By the time I got childcare
arranged (mom could barely walk because she'd taken some benedryl),
the drama was over. I put him in the kennel and I guess he barked
his foreskin back over his testicles and lost his erection and he
looked 'normal' again. Explaining what had happened to the emergency
vets office was so embarrassing... I swear, if my children aren't
embarrassing me some way, my animals are.
A came down crying about 10 minutes later over some story a kid at
drama had told tonight about this other kid at school smashing his
finger flat in a door. He was so upset and I had to make him laugh or
we were going to have 2 hours of him working through someone else's
trauma - this is his latest area of meltdowns - insecurities. So I
told him about the Penis Plight of Sirius Black... I've never seen
A laugh so hard in my life. He thought the dog's protruding penis
and testicles was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. And he thought
my reaction of rushing the poor dog to the vet was even funnier. He
said, "Mommy, all boys penises poke out like that! It's totally
normal!" Gee, my 10 year old son, thank you for the anatomy lesson in
the male of the species. I needed it... Like I've never seen a
penis before. But he's a DOG, not a BOY!!! - Honestly, this
was something I have never seen and NEVER hope to see EVER EVER
again! After my adrenaline level dropped, I was able to laugh. But
now I feel nauseous. I swear it was the freakiest thing I have ever
seen on a dog. The whole dang package was just dangling out there in
the wind and there was NOTHING I could do to fix it!!! And I tried -
EWWW GROSS! And it was like 4 inches long!!! It looked like a
little misshapen hot dog... The whole dog is only a foot long from
nose to rump - that's a third of his whole body! Thank God the human
male is not the same proportion as a dog. They'd look like a
friggin' elephant!
Well, I hope you all have enjoyed my wacky tale of canine torment.
Why does this kind of crap have to happen when I am at home alone with
my children???
how much I miss him when he's not here??? :( He'll be in London the
rest of this week and will only arrive home after Asher and Isaac's
party on Saturday. It's going to be a cool party though, I hate that
he's missing it. I also have trouble sleeping when he's on a plane at
night. It absolutely kills me not to know where he is exactly. As
long as I have a spot where I can get to him, if I absolutely needed
to, I am good. London is far away, but it's not totally inaccessible
in a dire emergency.
Weird things always happen when he's traveling. Tonight Sirius Black
was humping Max on the couch. This is an hourly occurrence - Sirius
likes to hump everything. Max got up to move and Sirius fell between
the sections of my sectional couch. When he did, his already
protruding penis popped all the way out of its foreskin! All the way
down past his testicles! WOW! That was a freakish site. I called
mom, called the vet and was going to take the stupid puppy to the vet
and have her come over to watch the kids. By the time I got childcare
arranged (mom could barely walk because she'd taken some benedryl),
the drama was over. I put him in the kennel and I guess he barked
his foreskin back over his testicles and lost his erection and he
looked 'normal' again. Explaining what had happened to the emergency
vets office was so embarrassing.
embarrassing me some way, my animals are.
A came down crying about 10 minutes later over some story a kid at
drama had told tonight about this other kid at school smashing his
finger flat in a door. He was so upset and I had to make him laugh or
we were going to have 2 hours of him working through someone else's
trauma - this is his latest area of meltdowns - insecurities. So I
told him about the Penis Plight of Sirius Black... I've never seen
A laugh so hard in my life. He thought the dog's protruding penis
and testicles was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. And he thought
my reaction of rushing the poor dog to the vet was even funnier. He
said, "Mommy, all boys penises poke out like that! It's totally
normal!" Gee, my 10 year old son, thank you for the anatomy lesson in
the male of the species. I needed it... Like I've never seen a
penis before. But he's a DOG, not a BOY!!! - Honestly, this
was something I have never seen and NEVER hope to see EVER EVER
again! After my adrenaline level dropped, I was able to laugh. But
now I feel nauseous. I swear it was the freakiest thing I have ever
seen on a dog. The whole dang package was just dangling out there in
the wind and there was NOTHING I could do to fix it!!! And I tried -
EWWW GROSS! And it was like 4 inches long!!! It looked like a
little misshapen hot dog... The whole dog is only a foot long from
nose to rump - that's a third of his whole body! Thank God the human
male is not the same proportion as a dog. They'd look like a
friggin' elephant!
Well, I hope you all have enjoyed my wacky tale of canine torment.
Why does this kind of crap have to happen when I am at home alone with
my children???
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