I headed to my gyno this morning for some issues I've been having. Turns out I probably have pockets of endometriosis in my uterus wall which have been causing blood to pool causing severe cramping, clotting, and bleeding during my periods. It's been wholly unpleasant. She says that we could treat with birth control hormones (The Pill, Mirena, Depo Shot), however, since I have never responded to the pill well it is probably not a good option. I always feel sick and miserable on any sort of hormonal birth control: very nauseous, bleeding, etc. An ablation is an option, but will not relieve the pain I have every month. Looks like the best option, for me, anyway, is a Hysterectomy. She thinks a partial will be okay since my ovaries feel normal, but will not know until she is in there for sure. She thinks she can do it Laparoscopically/Vaginally. I hope so. The recovery on that is so much easier.
I have been so focused on getting healthy the past 2 years of my life. I am eating better - less processed and healthier foods. I exercise at least 4-6 days a week. I've lost weight the right way. I have eliminated some of the stressors in my life. I try very hard to be positive mentally. I have very much been focused on healthful living. It is very hard not to see a major surgery as a pretty significant setback. It is hard to stay positive mentally when they are removing a pretty major organ from my body. Granted, it is an organ that I am done with. Four children is *plenty* for me. And the thought of never having a period again is a glorious proposition. But I have never had major surgery and the thought of slowing my life down enough to do so is pretty daunting. Three-Six weeks without Taekwondo at all feels like a prison sentence.
Before the Hysterectomy can happen, I first I have to have Urodynamics testing done to see why I am having some of the other issues. Some of those may be correctable by surgery as well, so I may be looking at two surgeries instead of one.
I also found out (when the doc looked up whether or not my allergy med might be causing some of the urinary issues I've been having) that my allergy med may be causing some of the GI issues I've had over the past while. Sigh. So, I will be switching allergy medications and researching side effects better.
I was very upset and boohooed at the doctor. I feel so bad about being so emotional. I really am done with the pain and the bleeding. I was/am just so overwhelmed with the prospect of taking time off from my life to do something so major. I know in the long run, I will probably feel better. I won't have the misery that has been part of my life for the past 5 years. But I am frightened, emotional, and anxious. And right now, I don't have a "plan". I don't have a calendar I can look at to say, "Okay, Urodynamics testing is this day, my annual exam is this day, and my hysterectomy is this day..." I don't like not having a plan in place. It makes my anxiety so much worse.
