IKEA and school planning.

IKEA and school planning - these two things have almost nothing in common (aside from the fact that I want to get some IKEA giant paper lanterns for the class/living room upstairs). I went to IKEA with the children today to just look around. I hadn't been there yet and it seemed like the thing to do, because everyone has raved about this place. I just don't know exactly why I wanted to go out on a rainy day like today at all. Sometimes, it is just best to stay home, but I didn't want to because I knew I had housework to do (that I just really didn't want to do). The kids were mostly good, but Isaac was grumpy and hated everything as usual. Going to IKEA did give me some ideas for storage around the house and I plan on going back very soon to take my time and look around for book shelves, some attractive storage for clothing and to have a meal because the cinnamon buns smelled really yummy. For some strange reason, it also got my brain flowing again for next semester's home school planning. Maybe it was all the pretty colors and containers. I like containers - baskets, tubs, jars, bins! Pretty much any kind of container!

I've been thinking about our history lessons a lot lately. We've been through all the Story of the World books and Asher is ready for something deeper. High School US History is what is in my head. I'm going to head to Growing Scholars this week to see what they've got. I'll be looking for a secular curriculum and something with as little expense as possible.

I'm also looking for a secular 9th grade Physical Science curriculum for Asher. I'd like to be able to finish most of 9th grade with him between now and the end of next year. I'd also like to increase his writing skills a great deal. We are going to start with outlining and summarizing within our US History Curriculum and a bit of creative writing and see how it goes. Asher's "Life of Fred Beginning Algebra" is GREAT! We both love the unique approach and the difference in his attitude is amazing.

Evie is going to go through North Carolina in a Nutshell and we will be taking a spring trip to Raleigh. I think visiting the state capitol is a trip every kid should take. I'll be looking for a self guided tour somewhere online to see if I can just go on my own. Her science is going to continue to be mostly unschooled - lots of reading and study based on her interest. She would only be in 2nd grade this year. So I'm feeling like a formal science curriculum would do us absolutely no good as she is learning so much right now on her own! I'm going to work on creative writing and summarizing with her as well. She's doing great in her Singapore 2A Math and is accomplishing quite a bit.

Isaac just turned 4 today. I'm going to start doing a little bit of formal phonics with him along with basic geometry, shapes and numbers. He's trying really hard to form his words correctly now and is interested in learning to read. Now to begin the process again of figuring out which program will work for this child to get him reading. After reading is attained, everything gets so much easier!

I'm still looking at how to accomplish all while dealing with a toddler, managing the house, getting the kids to all the activities (Taekwondo, Theatre, Park Day, play dates), feeding the masses, maintaining my happy marriage, and somehow finding some "me" time. I don't say all that to make people feel sorry for me or to say that I don't enjoy doing it all (most of the time). I say it simply to say, "Golly gee! I'm busy!" Add in the stress of the holidays right now and I feel like I have all four wheels spinning sometimes and I just don't get anywhere. But that is okay, because eventually, I will. And Spring Time will bring something wonderful - GARDENING and that always makes me feel better. I'm living for February.

Drive By Strip Malling

I was out driving about today in search of a consignment store selling a twin sized bed that would be to the liking of the almost four year old. I was over on the west side of Charlotte where I had seen a place selling used Little Tykes beds and toys a year or two ago over near Growing Scholars Homeschooling store. I decided to drive past one of my favorite buildings in the world... It was gone. They are building a strip mall in its spot. I've decided to remember this wonderful place and the people who filled its walls by telling some stories about it.

In the summer of 1986, my mother, my pregnant sister, and her husband came down to North Carolina with nothing but a Ryder Truck full of clothing and furniture and two cars. We had nothing - mom did not even have any prospects for a job, we had no place to go. We were basically starting over after what was basically the end of my parents' marriage. My other sister and her future husband joined us later. But on that HOT summer day in 1986, we pulled into the parking lot of what was then called Long Creek Baptist Church. It was during vacation Bible school and these really kind people at this church told us we could stay the night in their parking lot. They let us wash up the next day and fed us. By the end of that day, we had a place to live, my mother soon had a job and these wonderful church members helped my mother relentlessly over the next few years to get back on her feet. We attended this church for years after that. My mother and I both loved the people of this church and Brother Bud (Alvin "Bud" Spencer 1923-2008) who was its pastor at the time. They weren't perfect people, but they were loving and caring people.

One of my sisters had her baby shower there. One of my other sisters was married there in 1989 and Brother Bud performed her wedding ceremony. I was her maid of honor - that was when I was 11 years old. I was also baptized there as a child. I had so many good friends there as a child.

Mom and I stopped attending there for a long time, but it always held a special place in my heart and when I began driving, I started visiting there again. Now it was called Unity Baptist.

I was engaged to be married and wanted it to be there. The people there were great - some different faces... Some the same... The pastor now was Bill Nieporte. Bill is a great guy all around and so is his wife. His message of grace rang very true in my ear and still does. I really enjoyed attending this church as a young adult. Bill was kind enough to not be offended when I asked if Brother Bud could come back and officiate my wedding.

I remember on the night of our wedding rehearsal, Brother Bud just walked through the church and looked at every sign. He touched the plaque that commemorated the donation made by Emerson Burge in memory of his wife Becky (one of my mom's best friends) who had died of cancer. Emerson used to give me an 'allowance' on Sundays because he knew my mom couldn't afford it. He and Becky used to take mom and I to lunch every Sunday at McDonald's Cafeteria in West Charlotte. I remember one of the black waitresses trying to convince me when I was little that he was Emerson's daughter. They played it up so much that I almost believed them! Bud walked down the halls and talked to Josh and I about our upcoming marriage in a classroom that I had sat in years earlier for VBS and now was considering teaching in for children's Sunday school. He also stood in the sanctuary and stared at the stained glass behind the baptismal. I remembered when it had been installed soon after we became members of the church. I believe his wife and some of the other ladies had either paid for it or made it.

My husband and I became members of Unity shortly after the wedding. One year later, I was having a baby shower for my own impending arrival in the same fellowship hall where my sisters and I had celebrated babies and marriages in years past. After I had to go back to work a year after my son was born, Bill and Jeanna were there for me again to open up their home so I could have a sitter I could trust. And my first one was a handful at that age - so they were very gracious to have him in their home.

I was involved in the children's ministry, women's ministry and both were very special to me. We stopped attending and started attending a church closer to our house when Asher was almost 2 years old. But I still loved that church and the people there.

Since mom and I moved so much when I was growing up, I never developed a big attachment to a school or a house. But the church building on the corner of Mt. Holly-Huntersville Road and WT Harris (it used to be Vance Rd.) held a lot of very fond memories. I think the church still exists in some incarnation. But that beautiful church building is long gone and that is such a shame. All for a strip mall... Not a surprising fate, because it is such a growing area, but a big shame nonetheless.

I feel so sad that this building is gone. It's like I've just found out that an old friend that shared my life for so long is gone and I didn't get to say goodbye.

Furthering My Education

I have been asked, on several occasions, what my degree is in. When I tell people that I am a high school drop out, they are completely shocked. I nearly laugh at this every time because people assume that if you are a high school drop out, you are a stupid and inarticulate oaf. They assume that because I 'seem intelligent', I must have a higher level of education.

In 1995, I quit high school - twice - once at the end of my junior year and then again after re-enrolling at the beginning of my senior year. I was miserable in school and at the time, it was the right decision for me and I don't regret it - to this day (shh.., don't tell any current high school kids I said that). If my mother had had the opportunity and ability to home school me, I know she would have. School was not a fun place for me and any real education I received was in classes where I was able to control where I sat and who sat around me. My priorities were definitely not academics, my brain was on making money to pay my bills and still have enough left over to go dancing and have fun with my friends.

As soon as I turned 18, I scheduled a time to go take the pre-test for the GED at Central Piedmont Community College. The lady took one look at my scores and said, "Why on earth did you quit high school? These are the highest scores I have ever seen!" And she scheduled my GED test for the following week. I went and scored super high on the whole test. I could have passed the test with those scores when I was in 8th grade and had no clue why the lady was so impressed.

I went on to take the placement tests for community college and even took Band and an English Composition course. I had a job as a technical writer and felt I had reached some personal goals for a career. My priorities now were getting married, settling down and having children. I was ready for all of that and only briefly pondered going back to school to get a degree. I didn't see a need at the time.

Over the past 12 years of married life, I have pondered college several times. I've gone as far as looking at courses of study, checking into accredited online schools, and seeing what it would take to be able to go. Then I would want to have another baby and honestly, it has always been more important to me to raise my family than it has been to go back to school.

After 12 years of marriage, 11 years of motherhood, and 7 years of homeschooling - I wonder if it is time for me to take the plunge and go back to school for at least a little bit of further education. I don't know if it is the right time or if it makes the most sense right now, but I have a longing to get an 'academic education' instead of just the education that life has given me. Why? Why not? Hmm...

My oldest son is now taking Algebra 1 and is doing really well with it. The furthest I have been in math is high school Geometry. My math skills are really lacking and I fear that if I do not further my knowledge in math, I will not be able to teach him past next school year. If I am going to have to learn the material to teach him, why not receive college credit for it?

Someday, after my kids are a little more grown, I would love to start my own business - what my town needs is a little cafe' and coffee shop that serves really high quality coffee, smoothies, and Jones Soda (because who doesn't love Jones Soda) desserts, pastries, doughnuts, breads, salads, sandwiches and (on cold days) soups. Right now, we only have places that serve home style cooked food and while this is great, I think something that is not 'fast food' or 'greasy spoon' would be so wonderful (and popular). This is my dream, but I have no idea how to make my own business happen - I don't know where to start or how to do it. I wonder if a diploma or associate course of study would give me at least some of that knowledge.

I also wonder sometimes if my lack of a 'real' high school diploma or degree could hurt our future possible familial goals. Having a GED puts me in a 'lower class' in all reality. A lot of people do not respect it - even though the only thing I feel a high school diploma symbolizes is your ability to sit in a class room with people your own age who more often than not treat you like crap 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 13 years. The world values your ability to endure that kind of thing and definitely does not see it my way. No university in the world would have accepted me as an 18 year old GED recipient no matter what my test scores said - even though I was probably as smart if not smarter than over half the kids I knew in high school. I didn't have the proof that I was able to endure that special kind of torture that is traditional school. The world sees a diploma/degree as proof of "education" and if my family situation ever changes or I have to go back to work, my current skill set will not be seen as marketable or valuable. (Don't get me started on how the management skills you obtain as a homeschooling mom are seen as completely inferior and useless in the professional world.) The best job I'll be able to get will be a minimum wage job that would never be able to properly support my big family.

So, I'm pondering college again. I don't know if it is the right time. I would probably have to take online classes and sacrifice some of our other activities to make it happen. I don't know if my husband's work schedule would even allow it - considering he works 50-80 hour work weeks right now and I am pretty much with the kids most of the time because of this. I don't know if I would receive the support from those around me I would definitely need to be able to make it through a year or two of full time community college. I don't even know exactly what course of study I would want to take. I still have at least 16 years of educating my children ahead of me. Any degree I get now would not be used for at least a couple of years. Then, any business I started would be one flexible enough so I could still provide my children with their basic education. But wouldn't getting the degree and starting my own business be a good educational exercise for my children to witness?

Holiday Traditions

This time of year, I often begin to examine our lives and try to simplify things in time for the Holidays. We celebrate Christmas in our house, but whatever your family's holiday traditions, I think this time of year is hectic and busy. Seeing folks post on Facebook that it is only X days until Christmas and the dreaded comments that ensue is hilarious and sad. Everyone seems to dread a holiday that is supposed to be happy and joyful.

Some of the things I'm doing this year to simplify our lives (aka save money and be more joyful) at the holidays:

• Making gifts - my kids enjoy making things and one of Evie's 'goals' this year is to make Christmas decorations for the tree and to give as gifts. I've been making jams, fruit butters and jellies all year for myself. I've made sure to make plenty extra so I can give these things away as useful and meaningful gifts to those around us. We also have gigantic pecan trees in our yard and I'm going to collect these nuts as gifts for my extended family and our friends.
• Shopping online - I have four kids. My husband has a demanding job. My kids are with me pretty much 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This does not make for surprise shopping. So, most of my shopping - at least for my children is done online. I also made the kids make Amazon.com wish lists. I sat down with the older three and I asked them what they wanted. They made HUGE lists and were told they would not be getting everything on the list. Then after they went to bed, I went on their amazon lists, bought up to the dollar limit we had set for each of them and then passed the rest of the lists on to family who asks what to get them to try and make their Christmas shopping easier.
• Making gift wrapping fun - Schedule it, don't dread it. I've put it on my calendar - on Saturday, November 21, I am going to be wrapping Christmas gifts. By that day, I want to have everything bought - including the items for extended family so I can wrap, tie on the bows, put on the pretty gift tags and just try and enjoy the whole experience.
• Baking - I love nothing more than baking for people. I bake cookies, candies, breads. Anything I can enjoy and my family can enjoy.
• Scaling back on scheduled activities - My kids are in Taekwondo and Theatre classes. These are things my kids can't really miss all that often, but we are trying to at least scale back on Taekwondo until after Christmas. This means the kids won't be able to test for their next belt until February, but as long as we are going slowly enough, my kids can make new goals for Taekwondo after the beginning of the year when the holidays slow down a bit. Theatre is going to get very busy in December with performances and we have to be sure we spend time relaxing.

I'm going to enjoy Christmas - I refuse to get stressed out about the things that in the end, really matter very little in the larger scheme. I hope those around me can be just as relaxed.

Well, it is the crazy Mom's Life...

Warning: This post contains graphic, yet hilarious details of my poor puppy, Sirius' anatomy... Idiot dog.

Josh is on a plane somewhere over the atlantic. Have I ever mentioned
how much I miss him when he's not here??? :( He'll be in London the
rest of this week and will only arrive home after Asher and Isaac's
party on Saturday. It's going to be a cool party though, I hate that
he's missing it. I also have trouble sleeping when he's on a plane at
night. It absolutely kills me not to know where he is exactly. As
long as I have a spot where I can get to him, if I absolutely needed
to, I am good. London is far away, but it's not totally inaccessible
in a dire emergency.

Weird things always happen when he's traveling. Tonight Sirius Black
was humping Max on the couch. This is an hourly occurrence - Sirius
likes to hump everything. Max got up to move and Sirius fell between
the sections of my sectional couch. When he did, his already
protruding penis popped all the way out of its foreskin! All the way
down past his testicles! WOW! That was a freakish site. I called
mom, called the vet and was going to take the stupid puppy to the vet
and have her come over to watch the kids. By the time I got childcare
arranged (mom could barely walk because she'd taken some benedryl),
the drama was over. I put him in the kennel and I guess he barked
his foreskin back over his testicles and lost his erection and he
looked 'normal' again. Explaining what had happened to the emergency
vets office was so embarrassing... I swear, if my children aren't
embarrassing me some way, my animals are.

A came down crying about 10 minutes later over some story a kid at
drama had told tonight about this other kid at school smashing his
finger flat in a door. He was so upset and I had to make him laugh or
we were going to have 2 hours of him working through someone else's
trauma - this is his latest area of meltdowns - insecurities. So I
told him about the Penis Plight of Sirius Black... I've never seen
A laugh so hard in my life. He thought the dog's protruding penis
and testicles was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. And he thought
my reaction of rushing the poor dog to the vet was even funnier. He
said, "Mommy, all boys penises poke out like that! It's totally
normal!" Gee, my 10 year old son, thank you for the anatomy lesson in
the male of the species. I needed it... Like I've never seen a
penis before. But he's a DOG, not a BOY!!! - Honestly, this
was something I have never seen and NEVER hope to see EVER EVER
again! After my adrenaline level dropped, I was able to laugh. But
now I feel nauseous. I swear it was the freakiest thing I have ever
seen on a dog. The whole dang package was just dangling out there in
the wind and there was NOTHING I could do to fix it!!! And I tried -
EWWW GROSS! And it was like 4 inches long!!! It looked like a
little misshapen hot dog... The whole dog is only a foot long from
nose to rump - that's a third of his whole body! Thank God the human
male is not the same proportion as a dog. They'd look like a
friggin' elephant!

Well, I hope you all have enjoyed my wacky tale of canine torment.
Why does this kind of crap have to happen when I am at home alone with
my children???