I have been doing lots of thinking lately on the topic of God, Christianity and Faith Matters. These are still rolling around in my head but I feel I need to get these thoughts out in the open so that I can sort them through. So, here goes:
1. I am not as conservative as I once was, but I am still not liberal enough to be considered a liberal. And I find myself pondering - how is that related to God, Christianity and Faith Matters anyway? Why do my political leanings bear on how Christian I am? That leads to number two...
2. Can I still be at church if I am *not* ultra-conservative? I don't know the answer to that question and that really bothers me. I feel like there is no place for someone with my views at evangelical churches - I don't fit into their mold of what a Christian should be, so I would not be allowed to teach or lead in any way shape or form. Can I not still be a disciple of Christ *and* like our current president? Can I not still be a disciple of Christ *and* NOT like our former president? Why do I feel alienated by the very people who *should* be my faith family and loved by those who are not even Christian? I think conservatives Christians would probably say that I am being attacked by Satan with all these non-Christian friends of mine. But love is love folks. I'm getting the love from those of other (or no) faiths and getting the bad vibes from the Christians. What gives? Does this mean I love my Christian friends any less? Nope, I have so many close friends who I would not want to do without to say that. I have simply felt alienated by churches and people in them because of my views.
3. I also feel like my brain can't quite wrap itself around the purpose of traditional evangelism within the US. I feel that servant evangelism in a disenfranchised world might be more effective than traditional preaching. In other words, sharing the love of Christ through good works might work better than telling them constantly that God loves them. (Does God love them? Of course, but it might be more effective *show them that YOU love them* rather than just telling them that God loves them!)
4. I am also having problems with the purposes of certain traditions that differ from denomination to denomination. The two main examples are Baptism and Communion. Some denominations dunk, some denominations sprinkle, some do an infant dedication then later faith baptism , some do infant baptism then later faith confirmation... What is the 'right' way?
5. I have come to a momentous decision in my life that I do not need church to be Christian. The church has abandoned me like a wayward parent and I find that it is a "parent" that I want nothing to do with. I will continue to love God with all my heart, but I don't need church to have faith.
When I left church and went to my garden,
I found God in places I never thought I would.
When I left church and started giving time to people instead of committees,
I found God in people I never thought cared.
When I left church and started reading the Bible for my self,
I found guidance I never thought was there.
I think I'll find my own path, for now, thank you very much.
That's about it. I have been pondering all this for months. Let the party begin, I have been outed as a Non-Conservative Semi-Southern Christian White Girl living in the Bible Belt and not liking church...
2 comments:
Hello there! What a surprise to hear from you! Glad you're back.
What a huge post! I had to read it twice to chew it!
Well since I am Catholic I find it difficult to understand some of the ponderings you are going through. For instance re the sacraments we have just one way to do it and that's it. Also I don't really understand what you mean by being conservative and liberal. However I truely believe that Christianity has everything to do with everything in our life including politics.
But on the other hand I believe that going through these moments of evaluation of ones beliefs is a good thing. Personally I find myself in a pit of doubts whenever I feel I'm growing some more!
Blessings. Hope to hear from you soon.
PS May I ask you what your first name is?
I am feeling your pain. We just officially left the "church" in favor of staying home. In just 2 Sundays our children have learned so much. I have been questioning quite a bit of what I grew up learning also. When I read the Bible for myself in context I was amazed at what I saw. I saw a lot of freedom of choice and a basis of SHOWING love not simply telling of it. I have a tshirt that I made that says, "We are God's hands on the earth." Thank you so much for posting this.
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