It is getting more and more difficult to pay attention to anything other than my children during the day time. All four of them require at least an hour or more of my time individually. Plus time spent sitting near them after teaching in case they have questions or need redirection when they get distracted. We do "book" stuff Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Wednesdays we take for outside activities. Mondays and Thursdays we also have speech therapy. Most evenings at least one if not all of us have Taekwondo. Occasionally, we get done early with it, but when we don't, we are kind of stuck at the house doing "book work". Even with a transition to a mostly child led approach with one of the kids, she is very academically driven and has chosen some challenging stuff this year and is really enjoying it. It just takes a lot of our time. It is not that we are busy. I have eliminated many of our outside activities specifically to avoid the stress. But I have to prioritize my children's education.
One of the down sides of being a homeschooler (or for that matter any "working parent" and homeschooling is definitely real work) is that you do not have 6 hours a day that your children are not home with you. This leaves very small amounts of time to get things done - like going to the bank, preparing healthy meals, shaving your legs, going to the doctor, cleaning your house.
There are days that I long to be just a SAHM. That is not to say that SAHMs are not hard working. Being a SAHM is very hard work. Managing a household, getting kids to activities, taking care of errands, etc. You SAHMs work. It is a job - make no doubt about that. It is a job that is wonderful most days, and perfectly awful on others. It is a job that pays so well intrinsically yet horribly monetarily.
Families with parents who choose to stay at home or homeschool sacrifice financially to do so. Most stay at home parents have specialized training in some field they've left to be with their children. Many have college degrees. When their children turn 18 and leave for adult endeavors, stay at home parents are faced with fewer choices then their "working" peers. Their experience as managers of their home is completely invalidated by the corporate world. It is looked down upon. Even so, some days I want to be just a SAHM.
I feel today, like I have your job and the job of four private tutors, arts and crafts director, physical education teacher, activities director, and social skills trainer. When my youngest turns 18 when I am 48 and I am faced with both Menopause and possibly returning to the workforce, I hope attitudes have changed. I've watched women who had very promising careers at 25 have to scratch and claw just to get in the door of some companies when they have been out of the work place just for the few years before their children enter school.
I wonder what my options will be at that point. At 48 what will I want to do with my life? 13 years seems like a long time, but it isn't. Not in the grand scheme of things. My daughter just turned 11 and it seems like just yesterday she was this glowing little chunk with a head full of hair. Same for my 14 year old son... and my 7 year old son... and my 5 year old son! They were all just babies. In 13 years, what will I be?
For some weird reason, I feel like I need to begin planning as soon as possible for this eventuality. What do I want to be when *my kids* grow up? Will I want to be a "housewife" at that point? Maybe start a Mahjong club with a group of other housewives in my little town? Or will I want to brave reentering the corporate world to face age discrimination. Not to mention the discrimination against those who choose the life I've chosen. Maybe I'll be an entrepreneur. Maybe I'll write. At 48, how do you restart a career? I just don't know.
Our identity as human beings often hinges on answering the question, "What do you do?" There have been moments where I have been ashamed to say, "I'm a homeschool mom." As if that job is somehow 'less than' what I was before kids, when I could say, "I'm a technical writer." I guess it is 'less than' monetarily speaking. It doesn't help when it has been implied by friends, acquaintances, and even family members (intentionally and unintentionally) that being a SAHM or a homeschool mom is indeed an inferior option to staying in the work force. After a while, one ponders whether or not these folks are right. They are - at least in the eyes of the "working" world.
In any case, right now, I will have to call you back later. My children need an education - text me if you need me. I can't talk and supervise them at the same time. It is distracting for all of us and it is my job to see that they get the things they need. Sorry.
One of the down sides of being a homeschooler (or for that matter any "working parent" and homeschooling is definitely real work) is that you do not have 6 hours a day that your children are not home with you. This leaves very small amounts of time to get things done - like going to the bank, preparing healthy meals, shaving your legs, going to the doctor, cleaning your house.
There are days that I long to be just a SAHM. That is not to say that SAHMs are not hard working. Being a SAHM is very hard work. Managing a household, getting kids to activities, taking care of errands, etc. You SAHMs work. It is a job - make no doubt about that. It is a job that is wonderful most days, and perfectly awful on others. It is a job that pays so well intrinsically yet horribly monetarily.
Families with parents who choose to stay at home or homeschool sacrifice financially to do so. Most stay at home parents have specialized training in some field they've left to be with their children. Many have college degrees. When their children turn 18 and leave for adult endeavors, stay at home parents are faced with fewer choices then their "working" peers. Their experience as managers of their home is completely invalidated by the corporate world. It is looked down upon. Even so, some days I want to be just a SAHM.
I feel today, like I have your job and the job of four private tutors, arts and crafts director, physical education teacher, activities director, and social skills trainer. When my youngest turns 18 when I am 48 and I am faced with both Menopause and possibly returning to the workforce, I hope attitudes have changed. I've watched women who had very promising careers at 25 have to scratch and claw just to get in the door of some companies when they have been out of the work place just for the few years before their children enter school.
I wonder what my options will be at that point. At 48 what will I want to do with my life? 13 years seems like a long time, but it isn't. Not in the grand scheme of things. My daughter just turned 11 and it seems like just yesterday she was this glowing little chunk with a head full of hair. Same for my 14 year old son... and my 7 year old son... and my 5 year old son! They were all just babies. In 13 years, what will I be?
For some weird reason, I feel like I need to begin planning as soon as possible for this eventuality. What do I want to be when *my kids* grow up? Will I want to be a "housewife" at that point? Maybe start a Mahjong club with a group of other housewives in my little town? Or will I want to brave reentering the corporate world to face age discrimination. Not to mention the discrimination against those who choose the life I've chosen. Maybe I'll be an entrepreneur. Maybe I'll write. At 48, how do you restart a career? I just don't know.
Our identity as human beings often hinges on answering the question, "What do you do?" There have been moments where I have been ashamed to say, "I'm a homeschool mom." As if that job is somehow 'less than' what I was before kids, when I could say, "I'm a technical writer." I guess it is 'less than' monetarily speaking. It doesn't help when it has been implied by friends, acquaintances, and even family members (intentionally and unintentionally) that being a SAHM or a homeschool mom is indeed an inferior option to staying in the work force. After a while, one ponders whether or not these folks are right. They are - at least in the eyes of the "working" world.
In any case, right now, I will have to call you back later. My children need an education - text me if you need me. I can't talk and supervise them at the same time. It is distracting for all of us and it is my job to see that they get the things they need. Sorry.
1 comment:
The reason it seems like homeschooling or SAHPs have a lesser job is because society doesn't understand what we are doing. We don't get a heck of a lot of positive feedback, unless you count the overly bright smiles of those who say (just a tad too emphatically), "Oh, that's wonderful! I could NEVER do that!"
When my youngest child is 18, I will be 60. I will have zero options in the traditional job market. But my sons will have had the best possible education available. Sending our children out into the world as prepared, thinking, decent human beings is the most important job we have as parents.
That doesn't mean that I don't daydream about unleashing them on the ps system every now and then.
You just keep doing what you are doing. I think you're awesome.
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